Page 22 of Home to You
“I’msosorry for that, Jake,” I whispered. “I was confused and angry at myself, and I took it out on you.” I shook my head, my pulse hammering. “I wasn’t mature enough to deal with my emotions, and I didn’t really have the right tools to be a better version of myself.”
He ran a hand over his mouth, then down his beard, before letting out a long breath. “You told me I wasn’t enough,” he said,lifting his gaze to meet mine. “That I couldn’t give you the kind of life you wanted.” He paused, eyes narrowing just a little. “Do you know what that did to me? I spent years wondering if you were right.”
His voice was quiet but raw when he continued. “I stopped dreaming about anything bigger because I figured what was the point? If I wasn't enough for the one person I thought I could build a life with, then maybe I wasn’t meant for that kind of happiness.” He looked down at his hands. “I convinced myself I was fine with less. That wanting more was just setting myself up to get crushed again.”
I winced, heat flooding my face. “I hate that I let you believe that that’s what I thought.”
The tension in his shoulders eased, but just barely.
“Looking back …” I continued, my voice quieter now. Thoughtful, introspective. “I think you knew the realest, rawest version of the person I’d been up to that point. You saw the girl underneath all the ambition. The one who wanted desperately to be chosen, even when she pretended not to.”
Jake’s eyes met mine, and they flickered with something deeper—pain, maybe—but he didn’t look away again. “You were scared,” he said. “So was I. But I thought we could get through it together. I would have fought for you.”
His words pierced something deep and unhealed inside me. Because he was right. He had believed in us—in the love we were building—when I hadn’t had the courage to. And instead of trusting in that—trusting inhim—I’d let fear and pride drive me straight out of his life, and eventually, into the arms of another man.
“I know,” I said softly, my throat thick with shame. “I have no doubt about that. But I didn’t know how to let someone fight for me. I thought I had to do everything on my own—because I always had.”
I took a breath to ground myself. “I tried to move on and build a life without you, Jake. And it worked for a while. Or at least I convinced myself it did. But every time something in the illusion cracked, every time I was in a room full of people and still felt utterly alone, I thought of you.”
He didn’t respond with words. Instead, he shifted closer until our knees touched. I studied him in the low light of the lamp behind us, his eyes searching mine as he rubbed his palms against his jeans.
“Can you ever forgive me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as my eyes flicked back and forth between his.
Jake was quiet for a long moment … then, “I forgave you a long time ago, Eden. I had to, or it would have eaten me alive.” His words came out hoarse. “But forgiving you and trusting this—” he swung his finger between us “—that’s the part I’m still figuring out.”
“What do you need from me?” I asked.
“Time,” he said simply. “And honesty. No more lies. No more running when things get complicated.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” I whispered. “I’m here for the long haul.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
And then he leaned in, and when his mouth met mine, every thought, every fear, every … thing melted into that single moment.
His lips moved over mine with equal parts hesitation and heat. My hands slipped into his hair, and his found my waist, anchoring me as the kiss deepened.
When I finally pulled back for air, Jake cupped my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek. He rose from the couch in one fluid motion, his eyes locked on mine, and for one heart-stopping second, I thought he might sayno. Tell me to leave and never come back. Instead, he bent and swept me into his arms.
I gasped, clinging to him. “Jake!”
“You think I’m letting you go after that speech?” he said, his smile tender. “I’ve spent ten years trying to convince myself I was better off without you. But the truth is, Eden James, I never stopped loving you. Not even when I tried to. Not even when I should have.”
He carried me down the hall like I weighed nothing, the floor creaking softly under his boots. At his bedroom door, he nudged it open before closing it behind us with his heel.
The room was dim, the air still warm and damp from his earlier shower. I caught sight of a photo of Cole on the nightstand, along with a worn paperback beside it. A guitar in the corner.
He laid me down on the bed with careful reverence, and then he made good on the promise in his kiss, showing me exactly how much ten years apart had cost us.
CHAPTER TEN
I rolled Eden beneath me,needing to see her face, needing to watch her this time. I braced my weight on one forearm while my other hand traced the path I’d memorized ten years ago—past ribs that fluttered with each breath, over the dip of her waist where she’d always been ticklish until I was gripping her thigh and drawing it higher around my hip.
Her breath stuttered, and her nails dug into my shoulders, clinging to me like she couldn’t get close enough. I rocked into her, slow and deep, savoring the way she gasped beneath me.
“Jake,” she moaned, her voice wrecked.
