Page 40 of All the Chaos of Constellations
“I know you, Novalise Starstorm. You believe in fairy tales and you trust the stars to make all your dreams come true.” Asher looked back at her, and the magic ebbed, but the longing in his gaze held true. Even though he tried his damnedest to hide it. “If we were to marry, you would tell yourself you’re happy at first, and I have no doubt I’ll be able to pleasure you beyond your wildest fantasies.”
The sting of a blush bled into her cheeks.
“But eventually, you would come to resent me. You would grow to hate me because you desire a love match above all else. What will your stars tell you then? You’ll become lonely and seek solace in the arms of another man, likely one more deserving of you than me.” He shoved his hands into the pocket of his pants and stepped back, away from her. “I am many things, but I am not quick to forgive a transgression against me. I do not share what is mine.”
“Then make me yours.” She stumbled forward, dragging her dress back over her shoulders to conceal herself.
“I can’t.” He shook his head, his tumble of hair concealing half of his face from her view. “There has to be another way.”
When he spoke, it was a murmur, like he was talking more to himself than to her.
“But you said you needed more of me.” She couldn’t help it, her bottom lip trembled.
“Yes. I did say that. But wanting to fuck you and wanting to marry you aren’t the same thing. I shouldn’t have forced either upon you.” Roughing a hand along his jaw, he looked down at her, shadows haunting the planes of his handsome face. “I can’t marry you.”
This time, she was faster.
Novalise slapped Asher across his face.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
The sting of Novalise’s hand across Asher’s face only made him want her more.
“Novalise.” He reached for her, but she dodged his grasp.
“That’sLadyNovalise to you.” She whirled away from him in a flurry of satin, her braid of lavender whipping behind her.
He snatched it, grabbing a fistful of the silky strands in his palms before yanking her backward.
“My lady.” Asher didn’t tug hard enough to hurt her, just enough to have her back flush up against his chest. Just enough so the hasty beating of her heart caused his blood to pump with desire all over again. The curve of her body molded to his perfectly, her uneven breathing a balm to his broken soul. Gradually, his fingers trailed down the length of her neck, skimming over her jumping pulse. “Let me explain.”
She turned in his arms, and for a brief moment, he thought he’d convinced her to stay. Then she shoved away from him, nearly tripping over a tree root in the process. Her eyes were on fire, like shooting stars on winter’s coldest night.
“No. It’s my turn to walk away.” She bit her bottom lip, and he knew it was to keep herself from crying. “Now you get to see how it feels, to experience the agony I suffer every time you reject me.”
Asher stood there, dumbfounded, as she stomped through the forest back to the call of music and laughter. As soon as she was no longer in his line of sight, the bond yanked tight, stealing the air from his lungs. The strength of it was overwhelming, excruciating. He would have been no less surprised if a thousand blades fell from the sky and plunged straight into his heart. The pain was enough to bring him to his knees.
Untempered anger welled up inside of him, his fury directed at himself.
This was all his fault.
He thought marrying Novalise was the best option, the only option really, to keep her safe from Prince Drake. The whole situation was made worse by the fact that she foolishly agreed. It made no difference if he warned her beforehand that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, he should’ve known better than to believe her. Novalise was the darling of Aeramere. Perfect. Poised. As flawless as a coveted diamond.
Except for when he had her pinned to a tree with her legs wrapped tight around his waist while he drove himself into her over and over again. Her breathy gasps echoed in his mind, the way she cried out his name still rang in his ears. He’d been so close to watching her orgasm, so close to emptying himself inside of her. Fuck if his balls didn’t ache just thinking about it.
But then her emotions melded with his own. He’d felt her heartbreak, her soul-shattering despair so keenly, it was like those same sensations belonged to him. He knew then he couldn’t go through with it, he couldn’t marry her only to see her miserable for the rest of her life. It didn’t matter if their magic was a perfect match, if the power they created together was unlike anything he’d ever felt. Her sorrow almost broke him. It was pure torture, knowing his inability to love her destroyed her soul.
Unfortunately, he was out of options. No matter what choice he made, he would ultimately break her heart. Because Trysta Starstorm read as much in his stars. He’d only ever had one reading, one his own mother forced upon him, and when Trysta predicted Asher would be exactly like his father, he knew then he could never allow himself to love anyone.
Or better yet, never allow himself to be loved.
He wouldn’t be worthy of affection. His temper would seek to ruin all he ever cared for and if he raised a hand to Novalise, he would never be able to live with himself.
Asher walked back through the forest, following the sounds of merriment until he was once more along the outskirts of the faerie ring. Magic swelled as he stepped over the flowers and into the circle where the music pitched to a crescendo and everyone danced as though they had not a care in the world. Even the trees seemed to sway in time to the lively beat. Boisterous laughter and the harmonious folk tune did nothing to alleviate his rotten mood.
“Asher!”
He turned to see Cyra and her best friend, Lilith, walking over to him.
