Page 45 of Wilder Puck
“You go first.”
I bite my lip, staring at the ceiling. “I was just wondering…are you planning to date?”
It comes out more tentative than I intended. Ryan’s breath is still hitched as his brow furrows. His gaze sharpening on my face. “I'm not really in the market for that right now,” he says slowly. “Why?”
I shrug, trying to remain as normal as possible even though my heart thumps erratically. “Oh, you know. I just don't want to hold you back or anything. I mean, this situation is just practice, right? And if you want to see other people, I totally understand.”
It physically pains me to say the words, but I need him to know I'm not trying to tie him down. That he's free to do whatever, whoever, he wants.
Even if the thought makes me want to jump off a cliff.
Ryan is quiet for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “Okay,” he says at last. “Thanks, I guess.”
And it’s that people-pleasing genetic that irks me. I mean I am screaming on the inside, but I’m masking it so that I don’t come across as a crazy person.
I nod, my throat tight. “Sure. Actually.” I lean over the side of the bed to fish Emma's card out of my shorts' pocket. “I was asked to give you this by a very beautiful woman at the bar. Her name is Emma, and she recognized me from your Instagram photo from your first game. Did you know that it’s like top six of your grid? Anyway, she thought we were siblings. I told her we are not, we’re friends, so she saidoh he’s single then?And I said yes because you are, and so she gave me her card to pass along.”
I hold the card out to him, ignoring the way my hand shakes slightly. Ryan takes it, glancing at it briefly before looking back at me with a raised brow.
“Is this chick trying to network with me or get in my pants?” he asks dryly.
“The latter, I think,” I say, accidentally glancing his naked body next to mine. “I mean, I think. She did ask if you were single, so it kind of gives away what idea she has. Although it could be for both.”
Ryan shakes his head, tossing the card onto the nightstand. “Thanks, but no thanks. It's weird that she used you to try to get to me.”
Relief rushes through me, quickly followed by guilt. He took me at my word that I'm cool with him pursuing other options, but here I am hoping he won't.
Talk about sending mixed signals.
I nudge him with my elbow, needing to dispel the sudden heaviness in the air. “Don't be an idiot. She was just shooting her shot. And she's totally your type – legs for days model hotness, classy. Goes for what she wants.”
Ryan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, no. Models tend to be a little too high maintenance for me. I prefer my women real, not perfect.”
He looks down at me as he says it, something meaningful in his gaze. I flush, my heart doing that annoying fluttery thing again.Am I reading too much into that? Gosh, this is just friendly talk, so I need to cut it out.
I clear my throat and sit up, twisting my hair into a messy knot. “Well, maybe not Emma then. But if you want to get back out there, just say the word and I'll be your wing woman. We can hit the bars together and find you a nice, 'real' girl to rock your world.”
I nod because I mean it. This practice ordeal should probably be done because this man knows exactly what he’s doing, and I need to tell him that.
“So, I–”
“I will keep–”
Our eyes meet with a hint of humorous curiosity. We never do this.Never.
Ryan watches me for a beat, an odd expression on his face. But then he nods and flops onto his back, tucking an arm behind his head.
“You first,” he says.
I cut him off, flushing. “Actually, it’s only fair that you go first this time.”
“No,” he protests. “Ladies first.”
My eyes drag to his. “I can’t go first again. I need to know what you’re trying to say. Just please, tell me.”
“Okay, then,” Ryan says. “I just want you to know thatthisis working for me.”
“This?” I question.
