Page 125 of Trial of Thorns
“It was stupid. Rash. Rev knows now. He knows you mean something to me. And even though I think... I don’t think he’ll hurt you to get to me, I still don’t like it. Any of it. If he knows, the others might too. I don’t want you here involved in my messes.”
She steps closer, biting her lip. “But I want to be involved in your messes,” she says sweetly. “All of it. All ofyou.”
I wince. I love that about her. I love that we’re broken together.
“Y-you,” she says, “You won’t stop me from helping you. You can’t push me away anymore.” She grabs my upper arms tightly, eyes so full of adoration and fear. “I love you, Caelynn.”
My stomach drops. Shit. I always knew she had strong feelings for me, and in some ways I feel the same. In others...
I shake my head. I don’t know what to do. What to say. Do I tell her I don’t have those same feelings? Is that even true? Does it even matter? The farther away from me she is, the safer she’ll be. I press my hand to my stomach. Pain and fear and confusion swirling inside like a damn hurricane.
Raven’s bottom lip trembles when I don’t respond. “You don’t feel the same, do you?”
My eyes widen. “I—I don’t know—” I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know how I should feel. I don’t know what’s best for her.
“You want this life more than you want me,” she says, dropping her hands to her sides. “That’s why you wouldn’t leave with me. And you have feelings for him, don’t you?”
My mouth falls open.
“I see a lot as a bird, you know? I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you.”
“Raven,” I whisper. “I’m not leaving you. I just don’t want you hurt.”
“Tell me the truth,” she whispers, tears in her eyes.
“The truth?” I pull in a long breath and close my eyes. “I care about you. But I should’ve never brought you here.”
Raven gasps.
It’s true, though. I do love her in some ways. I need her. But I need her safe and protected more than anything else, and I’m terrified of what will happen next. I’m so scared of Brielle figuring out the truth and taking her from me.
The sound of her neck cracking, just one quick pop, rings through my mind. I can’t get it out of my head. That’s Raven’s fate if she stays tied to me.
Maybe that means I should pull her closer, protect her. But all I’ve ever known how to do is push people away. I’ve only ever played the part of the villain.
So, that’s the part I’ll play now.
“Stay away from me, Raven.”
I wave my magic over her, the glistening tears over her cheeks disappear as she takes her bird form and flies off into the sky, screeching out a cry of agony.
I don’t stop hearing her cries for hours.
