Page 40 of Curse of Thorns
I nod, it is.
There are three crystal-covered carriages waiting outside the front steps to the massive structure, and we pass by them toward an elaborate archway. The portal, I realize. My heart pounds harder as we approach. In moments we’ll be on the High Court island. Where my ancestors once ruled.
A cool mist settles over my skin the moment we pass through the archway, and I blink as the magic stirs in the air. The sun has long since set here, the sky scattered with stars.
Rev stares straight ahead, jaw clenched and eyes unfocused. I give his hand a gentle squeeze, and he flinches, eyes darting to mine in surprise.
“You got this,” I tell him.
His lips part, but then the carriage comes to a jerking stop and whispering begins as the fae outside realize who’s inside the Crumbling Court carriage.
“Is it Rev?”
“Rev is here?”
“He’s with the dwarf court? That’s weird, isn’t it?”
“They’re helping him defeat the scourge,”someone says proudly, and Tyadin’s eyes shine. His court’s reputation has risen significantly in recent months. Even though he’ll be leaving it all behind soon, I know it means a lot to him.
“You go first,” I tell Ty. Let him have his moment. While the attention is on us completely.
“You two will walk in together?” Ty asks. “I’ll walk in alone, I don’t mind.”
My eyes grow wide. I hadn’t considered...
“No,” Rev says quickly, and my stomach drops. I hadn’t expected us to walk in as a couple or anything, but his tone has my heart aching. “I—“ he stutters. “I’ll go in alone.” His eyes meet mine, one part hard and determined, one part pitying.
Perfect. I repress an eye roll and smile. “Of course,” I say sweetly, eyes cast to the ground.
Ty narrows his eyes and frowns disapprovingly at Rev. But then, he opens the door and hops out of the carriage in one smooth motion.
I watch as he marches through the gathering crowd proudly.
Soft fingertips glide over my ear, tucking a strand of hair behind it. “I’m sorry...” he says. “I just... I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.”
My blood runs cold, heart beating faster.The wrong idea.
God, it’s stupid for that to hurt as much as it does. I know there’s nothing between us. I know there’s no hope of a future for us. We’re not together, and we never will be.
But damn if it doesn’t sting to know that my own fated mate is embarrassed of me.
That’s what his real issue is. No one knows we’re mates, so us walking in together wouldn’t imply anything more than allies or at most a fling. In fact, it would deflect some of the attention he’s so nervous about.
Walk in with me, keep their whispers focused onus,and they’ll pay much less attention to the fact that he’s not in the Schorchedlands. But he doesn’t want that. Because he doesn’t want to be seen with me any more than he already is.
Several moments pass in silence. Rev finally gives up and exits the carriage on his own. I close my eyes and let out a shuttering breath, pain washing over me.
It’s okay. This is what I’m good at.
I’ll never be what Rev needs. I’ll never be the girl I was supposed to be.
Sometimes, I think I see it. The way he looks at me. The adoration I’ve so longed for. But then, he remembers. He sees the monster inside. He could have loved me, if things were different. He would have. The more time I spend with him, the more that truth is solidified.
We would have been perfect together, if not for the Night Bringer. My nightmare. He carved my soul right out of my body but left me living. Just enough to know the pain of the loss. To recognize what could have been.
I curl my darkness around me, anger and pain and rage and defeat. Dark ripples cast over me like wings, simmering like smoke falling off my body.
I’d almost forgotten who I am, hiding away with Rev and Tyadin where I could be just Cae, innocent and free. But no, that’s not who I really am.
