Page 21 of Soul of Thorns
Caelynn bites her lip, eyebrows bent low as she considers. She shrugs, and I press my hand to my heart, feeling it pound uncontrollably. I’m eager and terrified.
“How did you end up in a bargain with him?” I prompt because she hasn’t outright turned me down, and I know this is hard for her.
“One night,” she begins slowly, her voice low, “I overheard my parents talking about sending me away to another court.” She clears her throat, and her voice becomes steadier. More confident. I can practically see the emotion fading as she straightens her shoulders and tucks it all away behind those shields she’s so proficient at wielding. “I didn’t understand that conversation very much back then. They talked about me not being strong enough. I just thought they were punishing me. But now I think they knew. They knew that the Night Bringer was following our bloodline, waiting for the right person to come along that he could use as a tool to break the curse. Because I had the right blood, I was in danger. Actually... Iwasthe danger.” She shakes her head.
I don’t speak. Don’t move. I long to comfort her, to take away all of her pain. But I’m far too late.
“They knew,” she whispers, eyes unfocused. “I remember their expressions after the queen banished m,e after they learned what I did. I remember them sayingbanishment is better.I never knew what that meant, but I guess now I do.”
I swallow. “Banishment meant being away from the Night Bringer’s reach.”
“Mostly,” she whispers. “But yeah, I guess it’s because they knew he’d gotten to me.”
I swallow.
“I thought they hated me. They wanted to disown me. Well, maybe that’s still true. But maybe it’s not. Maybe... it was what was best for me. Get me out of the realm and out of his reach.”
I take in a long breath through my nose and let it out slowly.
“So, anyway... I ran off to complete my first rite of passage without their permission. If I just completed one, then they couldn’t force me to move away or marry someone at another court. But it was there that the Night Bringer found me. He tricked me into one of those small tunnels. And...”
I swallow.
“He made it very clear what my life would be like if I declined to take his bargain.”
I pause, every muscle tense. I can barely breathe. “He tortured you.”
She pauses, her face slack, emotionless. Then, she shrugs. “I took the bargain. And he sent me to a ball to meet you. He knew what you were to me. I’m certain of that.”
Silence stretches between us, just the rain pattering gently outside. When did it start raining?
“You ever think about what things might have been like?” I ask, watching her closely, memorizing every feature. Who would she have been, if... “If the Night Bringer didn’t even exist.”
Her lips lift into a gentle smile. “I spent ten years thinking about that.”
My face falls, and I press my eyes closed as shame washes over me.
“What?” she croaks.
“I spent ten years imaging your death,” I say. “You spent ten years imaging our life together.”
She purses her lips. No hint at all she has any idea why this is significant.
“It’s a wonder you’re the one we call a monster.”
“Rev,” she says firmly. “Iwasa monster. I killed a fae prince. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter who he was. I killed him. And he was your brother. I would never even dream of blaming you for hating me.” She shakes her head. “Ihated me.”
The breath that escapes my lips is shaky because I can relate. I’ve hated me too. My life was so full of anger. At myself. My father. The girl who took my brother from me.
I strove to prove I was worthy of my title. Worthy of my brother’s legacy. But unlike Caelynn, I had a scapegoat. I projected all of that on her. The fae that wielded the blade that ended my brother’s life.
If only I’d know it was all to save my life.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” I mumble.
Caelynn blinks. “What?”
“That he hurt you.” I shake my head, my thoughts are jumbled and confused. Images flashing through my mind, of Caelynn during the trials. She knew. The whole time, what I was to her. And that I hated her. I wanted her dead.
