“Rev.” I groan. My eyelids flutter closed as his warmth seeps into my skin, making me realize how cold I’d been. How starving I’d been.
Starving for him. Starving for his touch, for his closeness.
I grit my teeth, knowing that’s not true. Knowing it can’t be true. I can’t need him because I won’t have him. Rev is not a possibility.
But then, his fingertips glide up my arm and my head falls back against the stone. His thumb hooks inside the strap of my tank, gliding down, and a gasp escapes my lips. He pauses, fingers lingering at my neck. I resist the urge to look at him—to find out why he’d dare stop—because part of me is relieved.
He lets out a breath and then gently grips my chin. “Look at me.”
I oblige. He’s so close, his nose inches from mine.
“I know...” He winces, a myriad of emotions flashing over his features. “I know everything sucks right now. I know this world has never been kind to you. I know you’ve let go of your hope. But...” He licks his lips, and my stomach flips irrationally. “I want to give some of that back to you if I can. I want...” He closes his eyes. “I don’t know what the right thing is. But I do know what I want...”
My chest heaves, hardly able to get enough air through my aching lungs.
“Will you tell me what you want? Not forever. Not in a week or a year. Because I know that’s impossible to know right now. I know you refuse to hope for more than right now. So, tell me, now, what do you want?”
I swallow, my heart throbbing in my chest. Tension in my gut rushes down, making my head spin. I want him. I do. But I’m so beyond terrified of wanting anything that I don’t think I can have...
He examines my expression closely, seriously. His eyebrows pull down, and pain flickers over his expression. Then, slowly, he pulls away.
My first instinct is to pull him back, to wrap my arms and legs around him and hold him in a damn vice grip, but my fear closes over my throat, and I don’t move. I don’t stop him as he crouches to reenter our cave, taking his warmth with him.
And I don’t say a damn thing as he hides his pained expression from me.
Rev
Iendure another longstretch of awkward silence and consider the wisdom of taking another trek out to the wall. We need to gather more information, but that creature—
I shiver.
And Caelynn seems so weak after that fight.
We can’t sit here forever, though, and I find myself restless. The sting of rejection still lingers. She doesn’t want me.
Or maybe she does, but she’s too stubborn to admit it.