Page 27 of Soul of Thorns
“But what if you didn’t have to?” I ask. “What if I’m capable of doing this on my own?” Caelynn is brave and strong but stubborn as hell.
She narrows her eyes, watching me. “Maybe you could. But I don’t think you understand what being left behind would do to me. On the other side of the wall was one thing—when I didn’t know what monsters you were facing. But to expect me to sit here and do nothing. To just wait, even while knowing she’s coming for you—a creature more powerful than both of us even understand—trying to kill you.” Her bottom lip trembles, and it’s like a knife to the gut. “I can’t.”
“Okay,” I whisper. I hate it. I don’t want her putting herself at risk when it’s something I’m convinced I could do alone... But I can understand why it would be incredibly difficult for her, so I concede. Because if it were me, I’d fight too.
Rev
Caelynn slips intoa restless sleep less than an hour later. I watch as she curls up awkwardly on the damp soot. I gently pull her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear, if only so it doesn’t fall to the mud-caked ground.
I consider, not for the first time, if maybe Caelynn isn’t as healed as I’d thought. She was on the brink of death only days ago. Wraith magic carved a hole through her chest and grazed her heart. Maybe that had a larger effect on her than I’d thought possible.
Physically, she should be fine. My magic is fully capable of stitching up every inch of her. It can search her body for anything amiss.
Her chest rises and falls, her muscles flinch periodically.
So maybe... maybe what’s happening with her isn’t physical. Maybe it’s mental. Maybe it’s magical. I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t want to live anymore.
My stomach clenches at that thought. This female has me wound like a top. Physically, I want her, but she won’t reciprocate. Which would be fine, except I’m convinced she wants me just as badly. Emotionally, I’m compelled to protect her and care for her. I cannot fight this urge to save her.
And to be honest, I’m long past done fighting it.
I’d once thought it was only the magic of the mating bond—something mystical that was entirely out of my control. But I know better now.
That was just an excuse.
Now, I know she’s perfect for me. I press my eyes closed as a new wave of pain washes over me. She’s the one. My perfect partner. I’d kill for her. I’d die for her.
I don’t deserve her.
But I don’t know how to do this right. She pushes me away. She draws me in. She deserves so much more, but she’s not willing to fight for it.
I turn to the gentle glow of light shining from the opening of our tiny cave. I’m glad Caelynn is getting the rest she clearly still needs, but I’m restless. Eager for answers. Dying todosomething.
Now that Cae is resting, maybe it’s a good time to do a little bit of spying. Without her shadow magic, I’ll be more exposed, and I’ll have to travel at least two miles south to reach any place I could get a vantage of the wall.
I’ll risk running into that crazy looking creature. Is it guarding the wall? Will it remain there so long as we are seeking a way to cross?
