Page 38 of Soul of Thorns
Rev
Caelynn’s eyes areso faded and lifeless. Her magic settles over me, but it feels... weak.
“Do you think there’s something to what the wolf said?” I ask, surprised by my own question. It’s something I’ve been considering for the last few hours.
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
“He said the Night Bringer gave you his magic and he’ll use it to... I don’t know what he meant but... to control you? Do you think... being here...?”
Caelynn shrugs. “This palace does seem to have a strange effect on me. But no, I don’t think it’s the Night Bringer. His magic is mine. I’m confident of that. I completed his bargain, and part of that deal was the magic being entirely under my control.”
I nod. “That’s good. As long as you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. I remember what it felt like before I had control of it.” She shakes her head. “It’s mine now.”
“Okay,” I mutter and let the subject drop. I’m pleased she’s confident the Night Bringer isn’t messing with her from the inside out, but that doesn’t change the issue that she isn’t coping as well as I’d hoped.
I try to leave her be for a while, but my attention keeps shifting to her corner of the cave.
She fidgets and picks at her fingers like she’s just not entirely comfortable. A few minutes later, she’s playing with her hair and changing positions again. She lays her head back against the stone and breaths heavily.
Eventually, she notices me watching and then wrinkles her nose and crosses her arms. “What?”
I smirk at her endearing defensiveness. “Nothing. I just like watching you.”
For the smallest of instances, her eyes grow wide and her cheeks flush. She covers quickly, though, and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Creeper. What are you really thinking?”
I press my lips into a thin line and consider my next words carefully. It’s true that I do like watching her. It’s bittersweet. But maybe being truthful is the better option. “I’m just concerned is all. Things with you have been off. You look tired and uncomfortable. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Caelynn nods slowly. “I feel pretty drained. I don’t know.”
She pulls her knees up to her chest and casts her eyes to the ground.
“Do you need to sleep? I can keep watch.” We both know that wasn’t the plan, but I’m not going to push her too far. If she needs to rest, we’ll find a way to make it work.
“No,” she whispers. “I don’t want to sleep.”
I narrow my eyes, examining her again. Something is wrong. If it’s not the magic and she’s not physically tired, maybe... maybe she’s given up more than I thought. Maybe it’s not the Night Binger tearing at her with his magic, maybe it’s a real depression.
My stomach churns.
“Come here,” I whisper, fed up with all the wondering. With the fear of losing her. I need her here, now. And I don’t want her at arm’s length.
Her eyes flash, golden light flickering for only a moment. I imagine her, for the first time, as my bride. As my lifelong lover. As the mother of my children. It’s such an incredible picture that I have to blink back tears.
“Let’s just take what moments we can, okay?” I whisper as all the explanation I’ll give to her for this change. I want her near me. I want her in my arms. I want to feel her warmth and her life.
“Okay,” she whispers, leaning back into me.
I can’t have all of that, but I can have moments. I can steal pieces here and there. She shifts closer to me, but it’s not enough. I lean in and grip her waist, guiding her over toward me. She obliges, though her low eyebrows tell me she’s confused. Still, she scoots closer. I guide her so that she’s between my legs, her back to my chest. I wrap my arm over her torso and pull her in tightly, my chin resting on her shoulder.
It’s not a sexual position. It’s not passionate, but it is intimate.
