Page 40 of Soul of Thorns
My eyes flick down over her body.Stupid.
Her breath catches, and I know I’ve been caught. Her pupils dilate. But as much as I was growing uncomfortable in that position, I am missing her touch already.
“We’re just fine,” I answer calmly.
“We’re lucky.”
“You can stay awake till dawn now. Then, sleep a few more hours before we set out.”
She purses her lips. “I don’t need to sleep.”
“Obviously, you do. You’ll need your strength for whatever comes tomorrow.” I hold my hand out to her, offering her a place in my lap again. Her gaze darts down then back up, her cheeks flaming red in an instant. Another rush of joy flashes over me.
“It’s comfortable this way, isn’t it?” I ask, deflecting her embarrassment.
She clears her throat and turns her back to me, settling in, this time with her rear on my leg. “Mhmm,” she mumbles.
I quite like this position too. I grip her waist tightly, fingers finding warm, smooth skin where her shirt rides up.
“It’s your turn to sleep.”
“All right,” I answer, but my mind is on anything but sleep now. “Maybe I should lie down instead—”
She lays her head against mine like she’s too exhausted to keep it up. “Not yet,” she whispers, sending delicious chills over my body. Her hand rests on my neck, and I close my eyes, working to control my emotions. “I like where I am.”
I grip her thigh with one hand, squeezing tighter than I should, her waist with the other, and I focus on breathing.
She doesn’t want you. She doesn’t want this,I try to remind myself. She rejected me just hours ago...
But she hadn’t actually responded.
She flinches every time we’re remotely intimate, but I can see the tension in her body ease. She seeks out my touch; she lingers when it happens by accident.
Her breath is shaky as it releases. I’m aware of every place our bodies connect. Her ass on my thigh, her back on my chest, the inside of my arm achingly close to her chest.
She wiggles, shifting down so she’s between my legs again.
My lips graze her ear. I need to get this out. I need to find out where I stand. Because I don’t want to keep desiring something that will only cause her more pain. Except, I can’t help but feel like I can make some of this better for her.
That holding her, touching her, kissing her could give her the hope of what could be. Because, against my better judgment, I’m beginning to think that.
I fully intend to find a way to get Caelynn out of this place. I plan to steal her away from this curse. And once we’re out in the real world—well, I don’t know what that will mean, but I can recognize my own feelings well enough to know that I will continue to want her once I’m back in my comfortable palace. Once I’m king. Once I have all the things I’ve been working toward, there will always be something missing if she isn’t there in some capacity.
The people may never accept her as queen or even as a consort of the king. But... but that’s a fight for another day.
Today, I need to save her. And maybe it’s presumptuous for me to assume that intimacy with me could do that, but she’s so cold, so lonely, so sad. I want her to feel good. I want...
I take in a long breath, preparing myself for this conversation. “I need to know something,” I say, my voice weak, unsure. “I need to hear it.”
“What?” she whispers through the darkness.
I press my lips to her shoulder and pause for only a moment. “I want to make this better for you, Cae. In any way I can. So, I want to know what it is you need.”
“I—don’t...” She stumbles over her words.
“I have to know if you want me to leave you be, or if you want me to pursue you. I have to know if you want me the way I want you.”
I can feel her muscles tense at my words, her breath leaving her lungs. Then, her breath puffs back, faster than before.
