There are so many emotions running through me as I just stand here, staring at the castle that my ancestors once ruled from. The castle that has represented hope for the court I adore. Represented dreams I would have bet my life I would never achieve. But now, I stand here on the precipice of something new, something beautiful, something great, and I can’t even make my brain believe that it’s true. I cannot conceive that, moments from now, I will be standing inside the palace I’ve never stopped dreaming of.
But I’m also sad. My heart aches for the pain of my people. I grew up in this court, and I know what it’s like to be poor and belittled. The frustration of knowing it isn’t your fault, but you’re blamed all the same.
I know what it’s like to feel determined that you could be powerful if only given the chance—but no one ever will. I know what it’s like to be cold. I know what it’s like to be hungry. I know what it’s like to be dirty all the time.
For hundreds of years, hope has been stolen from the people of the Shadow Court. And it boggles my mind to think that I might be their new hope. It’s so insane that I spent ten years believing I was a villain and here I stand trying to be a hero. Trying to be what Rev believes me to be.
And there’s such a vast difference between being a hero hidden in shadow—doing good things but knowing no one will ever appreciate them—and standing before crowds of people who admire me.
I don’t know if I can live up to their high expectations. I don’t know if I can be the leader they need.
Rev nudges me with his elbow. “You belong here.”
“Home,” I whisper again.
Caelynn
You belong here.
I try to believe him. I want to believe him. But my heart aches.
Rev seems to read this on my face because he grips my chin and stares down at me. “You are incredible, Caelynn. You’ve faced monsters with your chin high and heart pure. This is no different. This is only a new obstacle.”
My heart pounds. “This is different,” I whisper. “No one has ever expected anything from me before.”
Rev releases a quick breath from his nose. “You’re used to exceeding low expectations, not meeting high ones.”
I nod.
“Well, if there is anyone used to striving to meet high expectations—and often failing—it’s me. It’s hard, Cae; I won’t pretend it’s not. But you—there’s not a single being in any world that I could believe in more. You will be an incredible leader, to a people that need you.”
“What if I fail them?”
“Then, they will be no worse off than they already are.”
I swallow, that truth hitting me hard. Rev releases my chin, and I look around at the stacks of crooked buildings with rusty hinges and trash piles in the streets. The dirty bare toes and rags covering children.