Page 66 of Queen of Thorns
Caelynn
My body is heavy withexhaustion, and my stomach is tight with anxiety. All I really want is to close my eyes and let the world fade away for hours and hours.
I lay down on the lumpy bed, the smell of dust still lingering in the air.
Yesterday, the Whisperwood Queen—Emberly, as she tells me to address her now—moved me to the royal wing on the other side of the palace. With the increase in magic, this section was deemed hospitable again. It is safer for a ruler in this part of the palace, and it’s supposedly more luxurious.
For now, it simply seems dirtier.
I don’t know what it will take to freshen up this place entirely. It’s been hundreds of years since this portion of the palace housed anyone but phantoms. Now, even those are gone.
“You are allowed to rest,” the book purrs against my chest.
“There’s no rest for the wicked,” I mumble.
I swear I can feel the book roll its hypothetical eyes. “You are not wicked.”
“Sure I am.” My voice is so soft it practically disappears into the room. “I will do whatever it takes to win this chess game. Cheat, kill, steal. Anything.”
“Die?”
“I have no problem dying.”
“Do you want to?”
I frown, my heavy eyes closing by their own fruition. “Do I want to what?”
“Die.”
My eyes fly back open, stomach twisting. “No,” I whisper. I don’t want to die. I want to see what my court could become. I don’t want to abandon them. Especially not now that I’ve seen what will happen if I disappear. The work I’ve done for the last week has given them back some strength, but it would all disappear quickly if I was to leave. There is no one else.
No others that could take on this burden.
There is no other hope for the Shadow Court. It’s only me.
I also don’t want to leave Rev. I know we’ll be apart—I know we can’t ever really be together—but I want those scattered moments of happiness.
“I want to live,” I say more to myself than anything. But the book still purrs in pleasure.
“Good,” it says. “You have much to live for. I’m glad you’re finally beginning to see that.”
