Page 107 of A Taste of Torment
“We do,” I say quickly. “I mean, we don’t have to, you know. And actually, yeah, I think that might be a bad idea.”
“No more than kissing, then? I have no problems with that.”
“Okay.”
“So? You’re okay with going in?”
I nod. “Get me out of this damn hallway. Now.”
Jarron laughs and pushes open the door immediately. “Yes, ma’am,” he purrs.
Once in his room, I take in a few deep breaths. Jarron casually removes his jacket and hangs it on a hook next to his door and then loosens his tie.
“Would you like to go outside?” He motions to the balcony. Out in the darkness, a few snowflakes flutter down.
“Looks cold.”
“I can keep you warm,” he offers.
“Maybe for a moment.” The cool air would feel good on my tight lungs. I’ve had an intense day if I’m honest.
We quietly walk out to the patio, where the icy air stings my lungs but makes me feel alive. Luckily, the long-sleeved dress keeps me a tad warmer than most others would in this situation. Jarron steps behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, his cheek resting against my temple. His warmth quickly seeps into my skin, and I sigh.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says.
“That this feels good.”
“Tell me what you think about today.”
I fight a smile. “I don’t know.”
“You enjoyed it, right?” he asks.
I recline my head against his shoulder. “Yes.” I definitely enjoyed it.
“But it freaked you out.”
“A little. I’m—I don’t know. This is the last thing I expected when I came here, and I honestly don’t even really know what I want. What any of this means.”
“Well, then, start small. Tell me what you know you want. It can be anything. To pet a puppy. To be warm. To feel powerful.”
“All of those things sound good,” I agree. “Hmm, I want… to find my own strength. I want to figure out who killed Liz and make sure they’re in the ground.”
“What about before that? In the meantime? The little moments between the big ones.”
I sniff. “I want to be comfortable. I want to be with you, near you. I want your friendship. I don’t want to lose our talks. Our small moments together. Part of me definitely wants more, but that’s what scares me.”
“Why?” he whispers.
The silence stretches for several moments as I grapple with how to answer. “Part of what freaked me out was how out of control I felt. I was vulnerable in a way I’ve never let myself be before. It scares me.”
Jarron is quiet, his body still against mine. A solid, warm comfort, but he waits.
“You were in control. I wasn’t.”
He huffs out a breath. “I was most definitely not in control,” he mutters. “You have no idea how much power you have over me, Candice.”
“You’ve said that before, but it always feels like me that’s unsure.”
