Page 64 of A Taste of Torment

Page List

Font Size:

“I’m happy you came here, Candice,” he says flatly, dropping his hand and leaning back. “Happy to have the chance to get to know you again. But if I could go back and save her, save you from this—even knowing it would mean I’d never see you again—I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

My heart aches. So would I.

And somehow, maybe I’m also happy to be here.

There’s this broken place inside my heart that’s been there long before Liz’s death. It’s a vulnerability I’ve desperately covered up by running away.

Inadequacy.

That’s what broke my heart. When I realized I was nothing. Meaningless.

Inconsequential.

And while that hasn’t changed, being here is teaching me to face this fear instead of run from it. And I’m beginning to find my footing in the world I was too afraid to face.

“I was a coward,” I say, in part to myself but also to him.

I don’t know what to make of Jarron. I don’t know if I should trust him, I don’t know why his touch nearly undoes me, but he was once my friend, and regardless of if he’s a calculated killer now, I shouldn’t have left the way I did then.

You’re a monster.

“I was a coward when I ran away from you. And Trevor. And this world. That’s the truth. I was too afraid to face the reality of where I fit into this universe. Where there are entire worlds full of beings with magic I can’t even fathom.”

Jarron swallows.

It’s like, I’m standing in this between place. A crossroads. I’m living a life where my sister’s death propelled me either into the path of a psychopath killer or helped me to rectify a great wrong.

If Jarron is what he seems, then I’m the biggest douchebag in the world for snubbing him three years ago.

If he is what I’m still petrified he is—a true demon, capable of lying and killing and enjoying every second of the manipulation—then… then I’m in big, big trouble.

“You’re strong, Candice. Stronger than them. Stronger than me. It’s about time you see it too.”

“Thanks.”

“I know you told me this isn’t what you want, but I’m gonna offer anyway,” he says slowly, deliberately.

I watch him as he prepares to make his speech. His eyelashes are low, fists tight over his thighs.

“You want to find your own strength, and I support that. But you have more than you think you do. You could wield the greatest weapon in this world.”

My eyebrows pull low.

“Me,” he growls. “There are many different forms of power, and you have power over me. Think of me as a weapon that no one else has access to. A weapon only you wield.”

I don’t know how to respond to that.

He leans in close, chest rising and falling heavily. “I would make the world bow at your feet, Candice, if that’s what you wanted. Just say the word.”

The hair on my arms rises. That is what I want.

Maybe it’s that tiny bit of demonic blood in my veins, but damn if those words aren’t sweet as honey to my black soul.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I tell him. Because it’s not as simple as he claims. I wouldn’t be the only one wielding that weapon. If I could hold him in my pocket like a damn Pokemon and use him as I please, it’d make sense. But this promise is complicated. And it also hinges on trust.

So, I’ll keep his offer in mind, and maybe even test him a time or two. But I won’t rely on it. Instead, I’m going to find power of my own. I’m going to prove that I’m not the deer in headlights.

I’m a viper in the grass. I just have to find my poison.