Page 19 of A Dose of Agony
I flinch. Deep inside, I’m still scared of that. It shouldn’t be that scary. Connecting with someone I adore and trust. It’s not the permanence; it’s the… control.
Shit, Laithe is totally right.
“Well, that’s enough psycho analysis for me today. I’m gonna get to brewing.”
Laithe bows their head, amusement still lingering in their eyes. Then, they stand and walk from the room slowly.
“Do you want me to leave too? Or do you mind if I stay?” Thompson asks.
“You’re welcome to stay,” I answer absently.
I check out the other two potions Thompson attempted to keep alive for me. The stunning potion looks great to my eye. The expeller was also lost in the shuffle, apparently—Elliot, another wolf shifter I’d befriended during truth or dare a while back, dropped the cauldron while transferring them over yesterday.
Luckily, it’s pretty easy to replace and will only take a week or two. I jot that down as an important first one. I’ll also start another nullifier and another death potion. I found a recipe for a very strong paralysis potion that I like the idea of as well.
After that, I’ll have to continue more research on potions I can use against my enemies.
Once we establish I’m not at all upset with him for his work on my potions, Thompson settles in beside me while I work on preparing my first few projects. An hour flies by before I notice how quiet he is.
The expeller is bubbling already. The nullifier only has a few ingredients, and I still have to prepare several more of them. But I stop my work and look him over.
Thompson is staring blankly at his hands.
“Something wrong?”
He looks up suddenly. “Oh, sorry. I zoned out.”
I set the jar of unicorn bone meal on the counter. “Tell me,” I say. I haven’t spent much time with him over the last few weeks since the caves. We haven’t talked about what he admitted to me. We haven’t talked about much at all.
“There was another advancement on my pack last week,” he admits. “Nothing new or groundbreaking. It just makes me anxious being so far from them and now…”
I frown. “Now?”
“Now, I’m wondering if my time here is going to be fruitful after all.”
I take a seat on one of the wooden stools. “What does that mean?”
He sighs. “I didn’t mean to burden you with this.”
“Thompson, you’ve proven to be a real friend. Let me be a friend back.”
“Have I? Have I been a real friend?” he asks. His brow is pinched, his whole body tense.
“You’ve helped me more than—”
“But do you trust me?” he blurts out. “I mean—” He runs his hands over his face.
I frown. This has been weighing on him for a while, I realize. Did I just not notice?
“I mean, you said you didn’t know if you could trust me before we entered the caves, and you haven’t spoken about any of it since. So, I didn’t know if that was still true.”
“Oh,” I mumble. “Well, I suppose it colors our friendship a little bit, knowing you only came here and befriended me in hopes that we’d become your allies. It—well, I’ve thought a lot about it, and the truth is, I understand. You needed help. What else were you supposed to do? I believe everything you did was sincere as well. You didn’t lie or fake things, that I know of. The thing that scared me was the idea that if you were my ally for what you could gain, what would happen if someone gave you a better offer? What would have happened if Mr. Vandozer came up to you and said that if you betrayed me, he’d make sure your pack was safe? Would you have done it?”
My stomach sinks. He just said he doesn’t know if this will be worth his time. Could that still happen now?
“I sought out a specific route that was the most moral I could find,” he said. “The one that won’t bite me or my pack in the ass later. I refuse to hurt anyone else to help ourselves.”
My stomach clenches.Is that what I will have to do to save Liz?“Right,” I whisper.
