Page 61 of Devour
“No.” Because of the warmth he just leant me, but I won’t tell him that.
“It is not a small thing, to be accepted into the community fully. You are… in a testing phase.”
“Test?” I whisper, finally daring to look up at him. His eyes are softer than I expect.
“You needn’t worry about failing, as long as you are willing to play their game.”
I bite the inside of my lip. He steps forward and places his finger under my chin, lifting gently until I meet his eye once more. “Do you remember what I told you last night?” His voice is hushed but firm. Almost like the tone of one lover to another.
My stomach twists. Why did I think that? He is anything but a lover, no matter what he’ll expect from me later.
“Defiance leads to death,” he tells me. “Do you choose death?” It sounds like an honest question rather than a threat.
I shake my head, frozen in his sight.
“Good girl.”
27
Haze
My skin tingles where I touched her.
I broke our agreement. She’d asked me not to touch her, and I intended to agree. But then, she was panicking and I?—
We cannot keep the priestess waiting.
The girl already hates me; what more do I expect? Will she hold it against me?
We reach the final hall before the throne room, and I stop to allow her a moment to mentally prepare.
Her little gasp echoes in my skull.
“They won’t harm you,” I tell her.
When she doesn’t respond, I lead the way down a long line of Drak warriors. They stand at attention, watching us with dark eyes, eagerly awaiting my failure.
Ivar is respected. I am not.
Our steps reverberate through the otherwise silent hall. One hundred feet. More than a hundred warriors of varying rank, each with a sword in his hand.
When I pass Ronan and Maddox, they dip their chin in silent solidarity. It is the only camaraderie I will find with these men. Only them, because they have seen that my differences havepurpose. They have benefited from my healing and seen my dedication to their wellbeing, even if I am not a warrior in the same way.
My reputation is especially low right now, since I failed to save one of my own recently. What is the purpose of a healer if squad members still die? The others don’t know that Mikael refused to accept my help in his final hours. He chose death rather than let me aid him.
I allowed him to make that choice.
They also don’t know that Ivar is the reason he was infected to begin with. He does not care for the wellbeing of his own men. He cares about his reputation and nothing more.
Lina sticks close to my side, her heartbeat rapid.
The men smell her fear as I do. I clench my fists, but my step only falters when I find a pair of eyes that sets my blood boiling.
His lips don’t move, but his eyes speak.You’re going to fail,they say,andwhen you do, she’ll be mine.
28
Lina
