Page 44 of The Disputed Legacy
Brushing his hair back from his brow comforted me. The touch grounded me, proving he was here and alive and unharmed. Hearing his steady, soft breaths showed that he wasn’t stressed, able to fall asleep like always, perhaps even more tired from the roller coaster of fear and then escaping. Seeing him safe in his bed was all I needed to convince myself I hadn’t failed. He was safe. With me.
He was safe with Saul, too.
Had that shooting happened when he wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have been able to notice the danger soon enough and protect my baby.
After a long while, I calmed down as much as I could. This quiet with Oscar soothed me, but as I heard the water shut off, I got up and worried all over again about Saul.
I gave him a few minutes to get out of the shower, but when I headed back toward the bathroom, I stopped short at him standing in my bedroom instead.
With nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, he stayed still and watched me with a cautious gaze. A small washcloth was in his other hand, and as he tried to cover the worst of the gash, I sighed and went to him to help.
“Let me,” I said, reaching for the cloth. I couldn’t help the shakiness of my voice. Something about seeing him here threw me off. I’d fought this, but now, I was only grateful for having him in my life at all.
“What’s wrong?” He caught my hand as I entered the bedroom. Pausing to close the door behind me, he studied me. “Is Oscar scared?”
I shook my head. “He’s asleep. Somehow.”
“The crash from the adrenaline.”
I sniffled, nodding. “I’ll listen out for if he needs me.”
“But what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
I took the cloth and dabbed his wound. He’d come with the gauze package, and I opened it to wrap it securely around his bicep. It seemed impossible to meet his eyes now.
“Willow—”
“Why do you think?” I shot back. I didn’t raise my voice because I couldn’t wake Oscar or disturb him, but I let him hear my frustration. “That was the closest I’d ever come to danger. The closest I’d ever seen my son in danger.”
He sighed, making his chest heave, as I finished tying the bandage.
“Now that I’ve had a chance to calm down and think, to feel and compartmentalize all that happened, it’s just hitting me. I’m thankful you were there. I’m scared that it happened at all. I hate that you were hurt. And I’m so shocked that in the blink of an eye, it all could’ve gone so much worse.”
He shushed me, bringing his arms up to invite me closer.
Keeping my head tucked down, I stepped into his space and burrowed my face against his bare chest. Feeling the heat from his skin, I drew in a deep breath. But on the exhale, as he embraced me and hugged me tightly, I cried again. No matter how long it took me to regain my composure, we stood like that while he comforted me.
I hadn’t been able to risk letting him into my life as a friend, but now, in the aftermath of such a horrible scare, I was letting him be my rock, soothing me and offering me the support I could’ve only ever dreamed about before.
18
SAUL
Iheld Willow against me and rested my chin on the top of her head. The soft red tresses were so smooth and thick to the touch, but that wasn’t what I focused on. Not like this when she clung to me like she needed me so badly.
With her body flush to mine as she cried out her belated reaction to that shooting, I paid attention to her slowly calming down.
I knew it was coming. It was inevitable that she’d break down at some point when she crashed. She was too tense and alert after we’d gotten out from the mess at the diner. Holding herself together had taken a toll, and she had to release it all as she snapped and gave in to all she’d bottled up.
Witnessing her as she handled that violence, that traumatic experience, proved again how she wasn’t someone in my world. She clearly hadn’t grown up exposed to the harsher side of life where guns were common, injuries were expected, and death was always lurking too close for comfort.
Holding her and offering her all the comfort I could manage like this, I hated that this difference between us could keep me from ever having her. I had to face the possibility that we couldbe too opposite, from different worlds, for her to be incorporated into my life.
She was soft where I had to be hard.
She was gentle and used to a simple life of just working and getting by while I was rough and familiar with the extremes of killing others so I wouldn’t be killed.
None of that could warp my thoughts about making hermine, though, and I detested how badly I dug in and grew more determined to have her.
