Page 45 of The Disputed Legacy
“It’s going to be okay,” I told her again once she was breathing easier. Her sniffling had stopped. The jerky shakes of her choppy inhales had slowed and then ceased. Leaning against me, she practically sagged. She was spent, likely tired from experiencing the up and down of fear to safety, and I was glad that it was me whom she could rest against. No one else.
Promising that everything would be “okay” felt like a lie, but it was a placating line that worked on her. She sighed, tightening her fingers around the grip she had on my shirt.
“I’m here with you,” I told her unnecessarily. “And I will stay right here like this as long as you need me to until you can think the same.”
She lifted her face to mine, staring at me. The sight of her tear-stained face pulled at my heartstrings. Seeing her so affected by that incident wounded me because in the back of my mind, I was mostly convinced I was the reason it had happened at all. It was my fault she had been near danger.
“I just don’t understand why that happened like that. And I can’t stop thinking about what if?—”
I shook my head. “No. Don’t play that game. Disaster can strike anywhere at any time, for any reason. Don’t go down that route of obsessing over what-ifs.”
“I can’t help it. I’m just stuck in this… fear. I can’t force myself to feel anything but fear.” She turned her head to the side,frowning and making me worry she’d cry again. “As soon as I try to think I’m safe, I fall back to wondering if?—”
I gripped her chin and turned her to face me again. “Don’t let it win. Youaresafe. You’re here, with me, in this moment. And you are safe.”
“I can’t let myself feel safe.”
“Then feel this.” I didn’t hesitate, caving to this need to make her happy and sane, this urge of my own to taste those lips I’d dreamed of. Dipping down to close my mouth over hers, I showed her what else she could feel. What else she could substitute this fear from the trauma with.
Me.
I brushed my lips over hers, savoring the full heat of this desire. It peaked with this contact, and I didn’t try to rush through it at all. Excited to be able to kiss her like I’d been wanting to, I treasured every bit of her soft mouth against mine, her warm breath mingling with mine.
On a gasp, she parted her lips, and I didn’t wait to take more. I couldn’t wait. After pulling back as a way to slow myself down more, I framed her face and kissed her again. And again. Every time I met her in the middle, being rough only to ensure I’d gotten her attention, my pulse drummed faster and my dick hardened into a more rigid shaft. Blood rushed down, and I couldn’t try to stem this lust if I tried.
Kissing her was the catalyst to losing my control, but for her, in this moment, I fought not to be impatient. I couldn’t focus on what I wanted. I had to dedicate my efforts to comforting her and showing her what else she could feel. With me.
And she did. Reaching up to kiss me back, she showed how I’d distracted her from the fear that weighed down on her. As she pressed against me, pushing her breasts against my bare chest, I felt my cock stiffen more.
Letting her retreat to catch her breath, I kept my arm banded around her back. Her fingers were so cool and soft as she cupped my face, but it was that nervous sense of marvel that shone in her emerald eyes that captivated me more.
“You feel this?” I asked, taking one of her hands and laying it over my chest. She couldn’t miss how my heart raced. For her. For us.
She swallowed, lowering her gaze as she took in the sight of me holding her. “I’ve never felt like this before,” she admitted on a weak, vulnerable whisper.
There was no way I was hearing her right. I furrowed my brow and narrowed my eyes as I brushed those stubborn red waves from her face so I could see her clearly. “What?”
“I’ve never…” She licked her lips and shook her head.
I prevented her from finishing the side-to-side motion. Catching her mouth with mine, I kissed her harder and realized what she meant. Her inexperience was telling. Now that I had taken the first step to kiss her at all, this time, I picked up on how she seemed to be learning as she went.
Impossible.
She had a son. I couldn’t be her first. Yet, she was clumsy as she tried to hold on to me, like she really hadn’t been intimate before.
“I’ve never…” She swallowed again and caught her breath. “I’ve never been kissed like this before.”
Fuck. Me.
Her inexperience shouldn’t have turned me on more. I was used to women who knew how to please me, but with Willow, I was addicted to the chance of teaching her how to please me. To show her what it could be like.
Questions bombarded me, cutting through this haze of lust. But they’d have to wait. She had to have been intimate to have a child. I was desperate to understand her past, just not now. Theonly thing I could do now was focus on the present, the fact that she was with me and open to keeping this up.
Still, I had to know more. “You’ve never…?”
She shook her head as I dragged hot kisses along her jaw. With her tipping her chin up, she gave me more access to taste every sweet inch of her pale, soft skin. Succulent and smooth, her flesh was vast uncharted territory for me to feel, mark, and reveal.
“Never,” she admitted.
