Page 69 of The Disputed Legacy
Any time I envisioned telling Saul and watching him walk away from the headache that I was, my heart cracked a little more.
It wouldn’t be fair if I could get this close to finding a man I’d love, only to lose him because of the stain in my past.
“Maybe you’re just overthinking it all,” Margo quipped.
I laughed. It started as a single huff and ended up closer to desperate, pathetic chuckles.
Now that sounds about right.
Thinking about Saul and how to have an overdue conversation was all I did now. He was foremost in my mind, but I lacked the experience to know how to move forward.
He entered the diner, seeking me out immediately like he always did. And as I felt my heart beat faster and the butterflies in my stomach take flight, I waited for his secret little smile that he saved just for me, my lips curved upward with this infectious draw neither of us could stop or slow down.
Screw thinking about him.
Now that he was here like usual near the end of my shift, I could admire and embrace his presence like the comforting anchor he had become.
“Yeah, you got itbad, girl.” Irene laughed lightly as she passed me by behind the counter.
Saul came up, his eyes only on me, as he locked that hungry gaze on me. “Hi.”
That one word. It had so much power on me. Simple and blunt.
“Hi.” The exhilaration of having his attention would never get old.
“What if…” He glanced at the menu lying on the counter.
Oh, God.
Any time he teased me with those words, I was taken back to our experience on the couch. He’d kept things tame and vanilla between us since then. We couldn’t risk being too loud when Oscar was home, but I wanted to explore more with Saul like that. Where I could be loud and not fear being caught acting like such a lust-driven woman.
“What if I had something like this tonight?” he asked, tapping his finger to the menu.
I looked down and nodded. “Coming right up,” I said as he moved over to sit with Oscar.
I watched as they sat and talked like good old buddies now. Seeing how good he was with Oscar was just another reason I wanted to see what else could be coming up next with this relationship.
Oscar deserved stability. He needed a good male role model in his life.
Could Saul really be it?
I only had to be brave and have that conversation about our secrets with him to decide.
28
SAUL
After I put my order in with Willow, I moved over to sit with Oscar. It was our routine, one I enjoyed because it meant I could get to know the boy more and more.
It rivaled the joy that I’d found when I visited back home and spent time with my nieces and nephew. Holding Isabella, Roarke, and Olivia was the extent of what I could do with them as babies. But when they were older, they could play and talk. We could walk around and explore. Climb trees. I could teach them everything their parents wouldn’t want them to know otherwise.
I’d be the fun uncle.
Until I could be a father.
When I sat with Oscar and watched him do his homework, I almost felt like one already.
Slow the fuck down, man.
