Page 73 of Redeem Me
Chapter 56
Jade
The reflection in the mirror staring back at me didn’t look like myself. The scar on my stomach was very jagged and visible but at least it had healed all the way. The scars on my arms and legs weren’t as bad. Granny was hopeful they would fade with time but she didn’t make a comment about the one on my stomach doing so. She simply sighed as she left Rafe’s home. Rafe’s home that I was still staying in but I couldn’t figure out why. I had my own home I could go back to, I didn’t understand why I was being holed up here.
The snow continued to come down in a thick blanket outside. I shivered as I watched it float to the ground in thick fluffs. Nalia still wasn’t back in my head and I wondered if she would be back anytime soon. I missed her. I missed my other half.
Rafe said I was welcome to anything in the house. I was dressed in clothes from Tracey’s closet. We had trudged through the snow to get to the front porch and my poor toes were icicles. I hadn’t thought to grab a few pairs of socks before I left her parents’ house. They had both welcomed me with warm hugs, all while Lucas had sat outside with a sad look over his face. He wanted the acceptance they so freely gave others and I didn’t blame him. I would have wanted it too if the roles were reversed.
My feet thumped on the wood floors as I walked to his massive white dresser in the closet. He had to have socks in here somewhere. I pulled open the first drawer and my shoulders sagged in relief. Socks were piled on top of each other. Black and grey fabric stared back at me from the drawer. I grabbed a pair of grey ones before my eyes snagged on something with pink lace.
I looked over my shoulder to make sure I was alone before I pulled the pink lace free. My stomach dropped and my core did something funny. It was my panties from the night of the party. My breath hitched as I shoved them back in the drawer. I turned around quickly but ran into a wall of muscle instead of the open doorway.
“Hello, little wolf, find something you like?” Rafe’s eyes were bright gold now. The brown completely gone. The scent of my desire evident in the air. I had just as many issues as this Alpha-hole had.
I shook my head.
He leaned down an inch before he smirked. “Are you sure?”
I scowled up at him and crossed my arms over my chest. “Not something I liked, something rather disturbing.”
“Like?” His eyes flicked over my shoulder to the open dresser drawer.
I swallowed hard before my chin went up an inch. “Like my panties from the night you forced a change on me.”
“My wolf couldn’t help himself. He needed you to know you were ours.” Rafe’s tongue glided over his top lip and my mouth went dry.
“I don’t belong to anyone,” I thought to the ‘D’ on my stomach and all desire I had felt was gone. It was replaced with something vile. Something that slithered up my throat and made me sick. I pushed past Rafe in horror and marched right to the bathroom. I would never be anyone’s because Damian had marked me as his.
I slipped the socks over my feet as I sat on the side of the tub. What would intimacy be like now? Now that I had a constant reminder of my time in captivity? How would I ever feel confident again like I had before? I would never wear a bikini or crop top again. I would never feel like me.
A few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“You apologize now?” My voice came out in a rough whisper, close to tears.
“If that’s what it takes,” He waited a second before he continued. “I’m not the best at this. Not at all but I’m trying to be better. Despite my wolf and his ancient beliefs. I want to be a goodman. The beast is something else entirely and I can’t make any promises on him.”
Maybe I could meet him halfway. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe everyone was right about him and that one instance shouldn’t have marked everything in a bad light. I remembered what had happened when Nalia took over. I had killed twice. I had taken two lives because she had deemed it so. Was that how Rafe felt sometimes? Was that what the other wolves in the pack did?
Before I could talk myself out of it, I opened the door. I looked up at Rafe and a tear escaped my eye. It rolled down my face before it dropped onto my shoulder. “I will never be able to belong to anyone. Damian made sure of that.”
Rafe’s lips parted before he sighed and closed his eyes. “I wish I could take it back. That night that I felt your pain, I would have consumed it all just so you didn’t feel it. I would take your scar and wear it instead of you, if I could. I would do anything to make sure that you don’t feel like this anymore but I know that I can’t. There is nothing I can do to change your mind. But I will say this, the scar doesn’t define you or your beauty. If anything, the scar shows how strong you are. How resilient. Whether you wear it proudly someday or not, you will always be strong to me.” The pad of his thumb traced the wet trail of tears on my cheek. “You are courageous. You are magnificent and I am sorry if no one has ever told you that before but I will live the rest of my days reminding you of it, whether you like me or not.”
My heart clenched inside of my chest and I blinked in surprise. I didn’t know what I was expecting from him, but it wasn’t this. It was never this.
I opened my mouth to protest but my head didn’t let me. It stopped the words before they could escape my mouth and damn us both. “I don’t know what to say.”
Rafe tucked a strand of hair behind my ear with his other hand. “Don’t say anything. Just promise me that you will let me redeem myself?”
All I could do was nod my head.
* * *
Lucas sat next to me in bed the next day as I contemplated what we were going to do. Knox and Mav were downstairs making all sorts of racket. I needed to find Lucas some clothes for when he was ready to transform but I knew I couldn’t force him into telling them anything. The only person getting frustrated with the wolf was Rafe. He would come to speak with me and there Lucas would be, sleeping in the corner. No matter how many times Rafe wanted to speak to me or be with me, we always had an audience. Rafe had been furious when he had turned around the previous night to find Lucas sitting on his haunches watching the entire exchange.
I had managed a laugh, but Rafe hardly thought it was funny. Lucas had given me his wolfish grin before he jumped onto the bed and went to sleep. I had a feeling he had been faking it for my benefit.
“You’re going to have to identify yourself soon enough.” Knox had brought breakfast up for us. I fed Lucas bacon while I spoke. “Rafe is allowing this but he won’t be too keen on it for much longer.”
Lucas rolled his brown eyes. I chewed on a bite of waffle.
“If you won’t tell them, I will have to.” I was pulling out the big guns now.
He sat up at that and gave me the look that saiddon’t you dare.
“I’m serious,” I took a sip of my orange juice. “Rafe is going to try to get the information out of me sooner rather than later. I don’t know if I can resist his charms.” I laughed and Lucas sighed in resignation. He tilted his head toward the bathroom. “Yes, there are clothes in there for you.” He shook his head. “Do you want me to get the clothes to bring for you?” He nodded.
Finally, we were getting somewhere. I took a deep breath. “Let’s do this then.”
