Page 80 of The Vow We Made
AIDEN
I remember every injury he sustained, but how the fuck do I explain, why I know more details about her husband’s death than she could ever imagine?
Unsure of where to start, I run my hands over my face. “Jesus. This is going to be hard.” A sharp twinge in my neck causes me to rub the pain away with my hand. I take a deep breath and the growl leaving the back of my throat does nothing to mask my frustration. The only way to bring some calm to my twitching bones is to have her body close so I pull her back to lay on my chest.
I take a deep breath, “Okay, here goes.” I’m about to rock her world.
“Aiden, what the hell is it? You’re scaring me.”
I find it difficult to meet her eyes and focus on my thumb now brushing over her hair.
“You have to know, I was sure I was doing the right thing, so please don’t judge me too quickly.” I exhale. Of all the bad news I’ve had to deliver during my time as a doctor, this is possibly the worst.
“Aiden—”
“Victoria, you need to listen to me. The day I knocked you off your feet outside the café, I was sure I knew your face but couldn’t place you. I forgot about it until your recent accident and while you were in hospital, it was brought to my attention how we’d met three years ago. Victoria, I know all about your husband’s injury’s becauseIwas Andy’s doctor the night he died.”
She’s silent and doesn’t move a muscle.
“Did you hear what I said?Iwas his doctor.Ibroke the news to you and your family.” She remains silent and still. “There’s never been a right time to tell you, although I have tried.”
“Aiden don’t. Please don’t.” She hides behind her hands, making me wonder if my confession is so repulsive, she’s unable to face me. I expect her to scream at me, to breakdown, or the very least, walk away but instead, she asks the question, “When did you realise?” It’s not the outburst of emotion I expect and when her tear-filled eyes finally come out of hiding, she’s perfectly calm.
“Aaron brought it to my attention. It was on the hospital notes.” Swallowing hard, I then reveal, “I don’t think I ever forgot about it because of the circumstances, but the people involved and their faces, they blurred over time. After I’d been reminded of the events, you and your family became clearer.” A faint, sad smile appears on her lips as I continue to explain. “Your case was talked about for a while after it happened. The groom who died on his wedding day and the new bride I had to break the news to.”
“Please,” she whispers and shakes her head. “You don’t have to explain.” Taking my hands in hers, she kisses my knuckles and lays her cheek against the cup of my palm.
“But I want to.” I try to reason while feeling the pressure. “I want you to know why it took so long to tell you.”
“You don’t have to do anything Aiden, it’smewho should explain.”
I’m confused, not only by her reaction but also by the way she’s handling it. Then all becomes clear.
“I’ve had my suspicions for a while.”
I’m unsure if I’ve heard her clearly at first. I grimace in confusion. “You knew?”
She nods. “The day at the café when you thought you recognised me, I recognised you too. The more you talked, the more I was convinced I knew you from somewhere. Then when you came back to give me your number, the girls were so excited about this incredibly handsome man chatting me up, I got swept up in their enthusiasm and forgot about it. I’m sure if any of them had realized who you were, they would have said something and I put the whole thing down to my imagination. It wasn’t until I overheard a conversation between my parents the last time I was in hospital, that I thought about it again.” She takes the deepest breath, holds it for a heartbeat and finally lets it go on a sigh. “I was lying in hospital, all woozy and confused. Mum and Dad were in the cubicle with me while I drifted in and out of sleep and they must have assumed I was out for the count. I heard everything. My parents were singing your praises for the way you tried to save ‘that man’ and how you handled the whole ‘Andy situation’ with dignity. It didn’t take a genius to work out what they were talking about. I never did ask my parents outright or voice my concerns to the girls, but I did question my own actions. Was dating the doctor who treated my husband just weird? If the girls found out, would they think it was wrong? I made the decision to keep it simple and to myself.”
“And your parents never mentioned it or showed concern about you seeing me?”
“Never. They probably felt it was best left.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me this?”
“Probably for the same reason you didn’t talk to me about it. I wanted us to work.”
I confess, “Of course, it was a stupid thing for me to say. Come here.” My hand smooths over the back of her head while my fingers weave through her short strands of dark hair. I kiss her forehead, leaving my lips to linger a while.
“I nearly told you once.” She says, glancing up. “The day I came home from Mum and Dad’s and you were waiting for me. I had this idea you were going to end things between us so it wouldn’t matter if you found out or not. The minute I realised you wanted to keep seeing me, I lost my nerve. If we had any kind of a chance, I couldn’t put obstacles in our way.”
“And now? Do you see it as an obstacle or something we can work through?”
“I want this to work. I want to move on, but what I don’t want is for you to think I’m callus. You see, I found something out about my husband after I lost him which meant it took me a long time to get to a point where I could trust again.”
Her eyes close briefly. I already know the answer to my next question, but I find myself asking, “Did he hurt you?”
“He did.”
