Page 96 of The Vow We Made
“Please Aiden, let me explain from the beginning, then you might begin to understand why I was taken in by him and why I couldn’t tell you the truth.”
He nods, just once and I take the biggest sigh of relief. I cannot lose him. Not now.
“Thank you,” I say but Aiden holds his focus straight ahead. It’s at that point I know I have to give him my total honesty.
“The most important thing to start with is how we did fall in love, buy the house of our dreams and settle down. All those things are true.”
Aiden looks at me from the corner of his eye, then away again. Now I’m unsure if he wants to know everything, but I have to give this my best shot, so I continue, “We were luckier than most first-time buyers because we were in a position to pay with cash. Andy insisted on it. He was earning phenomenal money and said we’d be mad to have a mortgage hanging over our heads when he was able to buy a property outright. But I had a problem with that. If he paid for our first home, it would behisand not ours. He got his own way in the end but promised I could contribute every month and the house would be in both our names.”
I look at him again, his hands in preying position, his nostrils flaring and all I can do is hope he’s taking this in. “I can imagine you’re probably wondering why I needed to tell you that.” As expected, he doesn’t speak, so I decided to get as much of my horrendous past out into the open, as possible. “Well, if you were, wondering, there is a good reason but I need to explain a few other things first.” My hands are clammy now and I rub them together while thinking back to, what should have been, a happier time.
“I was so excited to have a home of our own, but once we moved in, I soon realised a life with Andy was not all sunshine and roses. I hated him working away and as time went on, his job in Dubai was becoming a huge issue. The long commute and our time apart forced me to give him an ultimatum. It was me or the job. Andy’s solution to my worries was to ask me to be his wife. I suppose he was diverting away from our difficult situation with a proposal but, of course, I didn’t see it that way. I was so blinded by the romance of it all, I conveniently forgot about the conditions I’d previously set.”
I glance over to Aiden once again. He hasn’t moved from the same position, but at least now he seems to be quiet contemplating. The only emotion I gain is his jaw ticking, but I can’t work out if he’s still angry or just wondering what the hell he’s got himself into? I’m sure he’d ask questions if he had them, but as he’s so quiet, I tentatively carry on.
“Andy wanted to wait and have a long engagement. I couldn’t figure it out at first. Then, completely out of the blue, he confessed he’d been married before and was waiting for the final divorce paperwork to come through. We couldn’t get a marriage licence without it. At first, I was so angry with him. How could henottell me something so important about himself?”
This is the moment Aiden looks directly into my eyes and I see how much hurt I’ve caused him. I know exactly how he feels, so in hindsight, I should have known better than to keep this whole thing from him. “I’m so sorry Aiden. I should have told you all this. I know I should.” My face falls to my hands and I break down, now unable to hold back my tears. He doesn’t leave me to cry this out, but instead, pulls me onto his lap. I hold him as if he is my last hope.
“Shhh, Vick. It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” He kisses the top of my head.
“For what?” I sniff, looking up a him. “You have every right to be angry.”
“I could have been a little more understanding. I just saw red.” He brings me back into his arms. “Maybe we should just move on from all this.”
“I want to, believe me, but I also want to finish what I started. I want you to know the whole story this time. No gaps.” I listen to his breathing while I compose myself, then meet him eye to eye, “Okay?”
He agrees, “Okay.”
I settle back into his hold, thinking of that whole sorry period in my life.
“After Andy confessed why we had to delay the wedding plans, I didn’t speak to him for days. I was mad as hell but despite all that, I still went ahead and accepted every excuse and explanation he gave me. I was so stupid. I could never imagine him doing something so despicable and I had no idea he was unable give me his whole self. Anyway, eventually he got the paperwork he needed and we planned our perfect day, but I was blissfully unaware of the real man I was about to commit to.”
My memory drifts back to the church and a cold feeling runs down my spine, causing me to shiver.
“I knew something was off as soon as I walked down that aisle. My father placed my hand in Andy’s palm which was clammy and warm. I put it down to the pressure of the day but when he stuttered every vow, I was unsure if he’d make it through the ceremony. We left the church and were on our way to the reception when he completely freaked out. I know I told you the memory of the accident was blurred but it isn’t and the seconds before impact are as clear as day.
“We were in the back of this beautiful white Bentley and we should have been enjoying the best day of our lives, but something was very wrong. I noticed he kept wiping away sweat from his upper lip and brow and he was talking in riddles. He said things had gone too far and he should never have let it get out of hand. He talked about never wanting to hurt anyone and how sorry he was for what he’d done. I found myself begging him to make sense because all I heard was him shouting my name and calling our marriage a mistake. I was confused during those few seconds which played out so quickly. I was trying to calm him down, taking his hands, trying to kiss and reassure him, but he pushed me away. I didn’t have time to make sense of the situation, as Andy threw his body towards our driver and tried to gain control of the steering wheel. I was panicked to my core especially when Andy steered us to the wrong side of the road and straight towards an oncoming car. Our chauffeur managed to swerve us clear, but of course, his actions had consequences and the poor man lost his life.”
“Jesus Vick, I’m so sorry.”
“I still think about that poor man’s family.”
Aiden’s strong, protective arms coil around me. “There was nothing you could have done to stop it from happening.”
“It doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty. How the hell did I survive and with very few injuries? I was so lucky. So, so lucky.”
“Sometimes, life happens like that. I see so much of it at the hospital.” Aiden tells me. “Two different people in the same accident. One survives with a cut, the other breaks their back. All you can do about your particular situation is to try to find the positive. That man saved your life. Think about how brave he was. He’s a hero.”
I nod. “I hope the police told his family that. That he was brave.”
“They’ll know,” he says.
Another few moments pass before I continue to tell him, “Somehow, I managed to free myself from the wreckage and crawl over to Andy’s bloodied body. He was alive when I found him and I stayed until the paramedics dragged me away. The whole time, I prayed he would make it through. I didn’t understand what he’d done or why. I only knew I loved him and would have given anything for him to survive, but we both know how that ended.”
I sink my body into his full embrace and I’m sure he’s never held me so tight. “You’re telling me Andy tried to kill you as well as himself?”
I nod slowly. “In a nutshell, yes.”
