Page 73 of Where She Is
He walks to the bathroom, the crack of the cabinet door signals it is open before he shouts, “We’re out of Panadol.”
“There’s some in my handbag. Can you find it?”
“Yeah, got it.”
The sound of Daniels footsteps making their way to the kitchen and the tap running, the water splashing against the sink—why is everything so loud today? I attempt to stand as I have to go to the loo and there’s no way around it, getting out of bed is my only option. I walk into the bathroom and bend over, holding my head in my hands in the hope it will help. When I come out, Daniel is perched on the end of the bed.
“How are you?”
I try to smile as I crawl back under the duvet. “I’m sure you can see exactly how I am. Tell me the truth, how sick was I last night?”
His lips purse together. “You threw up in the bathroom quite a lot.”
“Oh, I thought with the bucket by the bed and the towels…”
“A precaution. I was worried you might be sick and choke.”
Of course, Lou. The same thing happened to her. A drugoverdose granted, but she was still out of it and so was I. He must have been worried sick. I feel horrible for putting him through the same nightmare again.
“I’m sorry, Daniel. I didn’t mean to do that to you. Thank you for looking after me.”
His fingers tug through his hair. “I’ve been awake most of the night, in case you needed me.”
“Thank you.” I force myself upright as he hands over my bag. I reach in to get the Panadol, and it’s then I feel the folded piece of paper I’d printed out yesterday. My fingers freeze at the realisation of what this was all about. He is why I’m in this state. I take a deep breath and pull the paper from my bag and hand it to him.
“Do you want to tell me what this is?”
His face says it all while he unfolds the evidence. He already knows what it is. I see his Adam’s apple rise and fall in his throat.
“Fuck, Hannah. This is not what it looks like.”
A combination of tears and laughter overflow from deep inside me. “Of course, Daniel. It never bloody is. Is this another of your rebounds? Just one more ex-lover crawling out of the woodwork? Except this woman is more than that. An old flame rekindled going by the headline.”
My nails dig into the skin on my palms. I want to scream my arse off at him, but the pain in my head prevents me from doing so.
Daniel’s frustration is palpable as his sizeable frame rises in front of me. His shoulders straighten and his chin lifts in a no-nonsense, ‘try me’ position. I hear his teeth grind together and his jaw visibly twitches. He can see I’m shaking as my hurt and anger increases, but it doesn’t stop his firm words.
“No, Hannah, I’m not having this. You will listen to me.” He climbs onto the bed and sits back on his knees before grabbing both my arms, holding them tight. He tries to catch my eye, but Iwon’t bite. I am hurt and the last thing I want is to glimpse those hypnotising hazel eyes. He shakes me only slightly as if to jolt my thoughts back to the here and now. When I still refuse to look at him, he lifts my chin so I have no choice. He’s determined to look me in the eye, even if I refuse to do the same.
“You will listen to me, Hannah. I did not go to that club with Tabitha. I went with Joe and a few of the team from Jamieson’s.”
My vacant expression gives him no sign of what is going through my mind, so he continues, “Yes, she was someone I saw for a while although it wasn’t serious. I literally bumped into her as I was leaving. We spoke for less than five minutes and when I went to kiss her goodbye, she turned and kissed me on the lips. I didn’t expect it and I certainly did not encourage it. I explained I had a girlfriend. She apologised and blamed it on the alcohol. I walked her to her car. That was it. The papers are making something out of nothing. I swear to you, Hannah. It’s the truth, and this is the exact reason I don’t go to these places anymore. Every time I do, the press get hold of it and stuff like this happens.” Daniel screws up the article in his fist. He is really pissed off. “I don’t want to be splashed all over the gossip columns and I don’t particularly wish to bump into anyone from my past. There is nobody else for me, but you. You know that.”
Tears spill over my cheeks. I promised myself I would never let anyone hurt me again. I thought I was strong enough to deal with ex-partners, or whatever they were to Daniel. When reality bites, it leaves a nasty wound. That article has hurt me more than I imagined possible. The likes of Candy I could handle, someone who wanted him, but the feeling was never mutual. She could never accept the truth, but that wasn’t his fault. Then there was Maddie’s friend who moved away because of him and Freya, who never stood a chance. She loved him anyway and has been bitter and twisted ever since. Now another girl appears, who I know nothing about. She is evidently hoping to rekindle what they had from their body language on the photograph. Where didshe fit into all of this? How many other scorned girls are out there.
“Please don’t cry, Han. I hate seeing you cry.”
I look up. “Then don’t upset me.” His shoulders slump as if in defeat.
“After Rob, I promised myself I’d never let another man hurt me and here I am.”
“Han, please. I haven’t cheated on you. I’m not him, I’m not Rob. I swear to you I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s the typical perfect picture from the paparazzi. They destroy people’s lives and cause so much damage. Please, don’t let them damage us. You said you trusted me, and I would never betray that trust. I would never hurt you. Please believe me.”
I sigh, rubbing my fingers over my forehead and realise my headache has lifted. It’s probably because of the adrenaline rush this situation has caused and my frustration with being in this position again. I inhale a deep breath.
“Daniel, I can’t give you the answer you want. Not right now. Maybe you didn’t kiss that girl—”
“I didn’t Hannah.”
