Page 88 of Where She Is
The pub is still fairly crowded as we walk through to find dad. He is propping up the bar, reminiscing with his bridge club friends. Another of my parent’s many pastimes. I let him know we are ready to leave and he signals that he is not. I think he wants to get drunk and why the hell not. Jill has offered to take him home later, and I am so tired, I agree. If it is possible to enjoy yourself on a day like this, then that’s what he should do. Either that or he’s numbing his pain with alcohol.
I glance over at Lucy as we move towards the exit. She spots me and gives a slight wave. She silently mouths, “We’ll speak later”. It crosses my mind briefly to tell her what happened in the back room. I decide better of it. Knowing my best friend, she’ll over-react and I wouldn’t be able to stop her from hunting Rob down.
Hand in hand with Daniel, we decide it’s time to go home. There are things to sort out and I have a lot of thinking to do. Apart from anything else, I want this day to end.
Chapter Thirty-One
I wonderif I should feel guilty about what we are doing, but somehow, all my emotions drain away. He gives me the comfort and love I so badly need and, right now, I need him more than ever.
Daniel smiles and rubs the pad of his thumb against my cheek while his eyes roam over my body. My hands cup either side of his face and bring his eyes back to mine.
“Please, Daniel.”
He understands exactly what I want as his tongue dances along my lips before entering my mouth. He leans over me, resting on his elbow while his opposite hand glides over the delicate skin of my breast. His mouth kisses a trail from my chin, down my neck then onto my chest. He squeezes my breast; moulds my nipple between his fingers, then sucks with the gentlest touch. His beautiful hazel eyes glance to mine while he uses his knee to part my legs and settle between them. The whole time, his mouth never leaves my breast. My hips push upwards, as I try to catch the head of his erection to meet my entrance. I’m wet as hell and ready for him. I moan softly while his hand falls from my nipple towards my core. One finger brushes lightly overmy opening, then two fingers plunge inside. The pad of his thumb moves in circles around my clit. A euphoric energy rips through my body while his fingers dip in and out. I reach for him and brush my fingers over his silky-smooth length. I want to tease him. I find my way to his balls and rub underneath them while he growls softly in my ear. I take his cock with one hand and pump the head, then glide all the way to where his balls meet. I caress them gently with my other hand, but Daniel slides between my legs and I can no longer hold him there. Our eyes lock as he slips further down my body. We never lose sight of the other until he meets my entrance, licking me slowly. I roll my hips and run my palms over his hair, moaning with pleasure. I think I’m on the verge of coming, but I need this incredible wave to last.
“Daniel, please—fuck me now.”
His only response is to continue licking and sucking. I physically pull his head away from my body as my impatience grows. His smirk doesn’t go entirely unnoticed while he slides back to meet me. His skin ignites mine as our bodies spark together. My muscles contract around him when he enters me—the sensation is incredible. Daniel moves at a torturously slow pace, taking control and guiding each touch. He whispers, “I love fucking you, Han… love being inside you, I love you. Every. Single. Inch.”
I wrap my legs around his waist as I reel towards the edge. He sits back on his heels, takes an ankle in each hand then parts my legs in front of him before pushing them straight up in the air. There are no restrictions. He doesn’t stop talking as he enters inside me, “I love to feel you. I love to fuck you. Feel it, baby, see how wet you are.”
My release washes over me, but when I get there, it’s still not enough. I touch his hands to free my legs. He’s inside me, yet to come. I wrap my legs around him again and grind my hips to let him know I want more. His movements become faster, harderand I’m on the cusp of my second release. He growls with such intensity. It’s my signal that he’s coming hard.
I can’t reason the desire pouring from me. It was a craving, a release or maybe a cure. All I’m sure of is that I needed Daniel and he gladly gave me what I was looking for.
We’ve spent the last few days moving forward as best as we can, taking dad out and about, having lunch, seeing friends. It’s as if everything is suddenly complete and we are all expected to get on with our lives. Inside, I don’t want to. I’m not ready. It means I have to think about the future. Will I return to Australia, and if I do, what happens to dad? If I don’t, what happens to Daniel? To us? What happens to the life we’ve built? Do we have to say goodbye? I can’t imagine he will leave his family and his life in such an incredible country for good. As for me, well I don’t want dad to be on his own. There is no other family around, so he is my responsibility now. Although I’ve been avoiding the issue, it is clear Daniel should know what my plans are. He has a career he needs to continue on the other side of the world. It wouldn’t be fair of me to keep him away from that and of course, his family need him too. His brother is probably missing him like crazy. Daniel is a tremendous source of support to Joe.
I hear Daniel in the lounge talking to someone on the phone. I stand outside the door and listen, “I just don’t think I can leave her yet.”
So he is going home. My stomach plummets.He’s leaving. I don’t want him to go.It means I’m losing another person in my lifeand I have an overwhelming fear that my heart can’t keep it together.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to her tonight. Call you tomorrow.”
I take a step away from the door, but he bolts right into me and our bodies smack.
“Whoa! Didn’t see you there, beautiful,” he laughs, but his smile soon fades as my tear-stained face betrays me. “Hey, what’s up?” His arms wrap around my waist while his hand cups the back of my head. I hold him tight and give in to my emotions.I’m losing him. He pushes me away from his body so he can look into my eyes. His mouth forms into a line, not quite a smile, and he leads me into the living room, guiding me to the sofa. It’s time to have that talk. One week after mum’s funeral, I have to make my mind up and this could affect the rest of my life. His sigh is deep, “You heard me on the phone.”
It’s not a question, it’s a statement. I silently nod and glance down to my feet. “This is your decision Hannah and I can’t make it for you.”
“I know.”
“It’s obvious you’re torn between looking after your dad and coming home with me.”
That is the problem. I now consider Australia my home, but I have my father to think about and he has to come first at this point in time. I nervously gaze at our laced fingers. Even though the decision is made, it is breaking my heart.
“Daniel, I can’t come back with you.” My chest heaves, and my stomach turns. Daniel closes his eyes and draws in a breath.
“You know I have to go home.”
I nod my head, “Yes, I know this is it.” I say nothing more and Daniel pulls me onto his lap, his hand rubbing my back. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t it. I’m not letting you go that easily and not without a fight.” Tears spill over my cheeks and drip on my jeans. “Don’t cry, this is not forever. When I said you were it for me, it wasn’t just words. We’re a package deal and that hasn’t changed, so we need to find some way for this to work.”
I try to be level-headed, although my mind is far from stable. “We need to face facts. Long distance relationships don’t work and a relationship with a ten-thousand-mile gap doesn’t stand a hope in hell.”
There’s a slight smirk on his face before he replies, “We’ll see.” And that’s all he says. I’m almost choking on my emotions as I fall into his embrace. I’m not sure if he is the one giving up or I am.
The next few days move along at speed. Daniel and I take a trip to the London office. I am slowly returning to work by running errands for Richard, who has been incredibly supportive. He suggested I work remotely until final decisions have been made but, in my heart, I know I can’t return to my job in Sydney. Daniel is in the office to arrange his flights home. For nearly a month he’s sacrificed so much to be with me. We can’t delay this any longer and we agree he needs to fly home sooner rather than later. He says it’s not forever. I’m certain this is the end and I’m dreading it. I will have to say goodbye to the love of my life. Ultimately, we fuel one another and I have no idea how this will affect either of us.
We walk through the door to my family home. We’ve had a good day strangely. During lunch, we talk about everything apart from what we should. Neither of us wants to face the fact that our time together is ending.
