Page 56 of Where She Is
After a thoughtful moment she asks, “Is Daniel worried you’ll change your mind and leave him for your cheating ex? You got out of that mixed-up relationship once. Why the hell would you want to go back to it?”
“Exactly, but that’s easy to see when you’re on the outside looking in.”
“I suppose. So, what will you do?”
“I’m determined to contact him—if he’s not already on his way—but what do I say? Any advice?”
She squints towards the heavens and mulls it over. “Okay, so you make a list before you call. Get all your points on paper. Itsounds cold and clinical, but at least you won’t miss anything out.”
“Hmm, good plan.”
“And be prepared for a verbal battle.”
“Okay, noted.” She’s right. I’m bound to have a fight on my hands because I bet he has an answer for everything.
Before my mind goes into overdrive, Maddie is back to the gossip. “So, how are things going with Mr Grant?”
“If I tell you, you’ll go spare and I’m not even sure you want the details.”
“Oh, I think I do.” Maddie is like a dog with a bone. She’s got it between her teeth and will not let go. “Come on, spill.”
I give in. “You know I’ve been staying with him pretty much full time for a couple of weeks now? Well, Daniel wants me to make it permanent and move in with him.”
Maddie looks to her clasped fingers. She is quiet before she puts her hand on mine and gives me a concerned smile. “Hannah, this is up to you. Ultimately, you have to decide if you can trust him. Remember, I told you about Josie? He hurt her badly, and she really fell for him. Although I haven’t known you long, I consider you a friend. I’m always honest with my friends so I don’t want to offend you when I say I couldn’t bear for you to suffer the way she did. Please be careful. He has a dark history.”
So how do I explain she’s wrong? His reputation with drugs was assumed because his wife had a problem. Her hand moves to my arm and jolts me towards her concerned blue eyes.
“Come back to me, Hannah. Where did you go?”
“Sorry, I was dreaming,” I smile and tell her more about the man I’ve fallen for. Oh God, yes. I have fallen for him and I’m finally admitting it to myself. I have to be careful what I say. I’ll leave the Freya part out, she’s too complicated. I draw in a deep breath then tell her about Louise and Daniel. How they met, their marriage, her drug problem and how it affected him. I don’t gointo it too deeply or include the details of her death. It’s not a subject I think I should share with anyone.
“As for Josie, Daniel told me about her too. She got caught up in something beyond Daniel’s control. He really cared and was faithful to her. I understand your reservations, but there were other factors at work. That’s all I can say.”
Maddie sits back on the bench, her hands in her hair while she holds in a breath.
“Maddie?” Now she is lost in thought. “Come back to me, Maddie,” I repeat her words light-heartedly.
Her eyes double-take towards me and we both laugh. She blows out the lengthy breath she’s been holding. “I don’t know, Hannah. I’m still not convinced you should take the plunge and do the whole moving in thing, and something tells me you’re not sure yourself. I mean, surely you would have accepted already if you trusted him completely.”
I sigh, “This is where the problem lies. It’s not Daniel, it’s me. I put all my eggs in one basket with Rob. I moved in too quickly, thinking it would lead to love, marriage and children. Eventually, I realised we didn’t want the same things and now I have to consider taking a chance on Daniel because we do. Plus—I’m in love with him, Maddie. There’s no doubt in my mind about that part.”
She stops mid-bite of her sandwich. Her eyes are as wide as I’ve ever seen them when they lock with mine and her teeth are firmly caged around her lunch, “You’re in luf wif hin?”
I try desperately to keep it in, but my cheeks explode, “Didn’t your mum ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?”
She holds up one finger before swallowing her lunch. “Yes, but that was unfair. You caught me by surprise.” Then the laughter subsides. Maddie carefully puts the rest of her sandwich back into the brown paper bag and takes both my hands in hers. “So, you love him.” I nod with a shy smile. “Have you told him?”
I shake my head, “No, not yet.”
She squeezes my hands. “Does he love you?”
“He hasn’t said it, but he’s very serious about us. I know he cares for me and I feel safe with him. My instincts tell me this is right.”
Silence lingers in the air until I say, “Look, I have no idea what will happen. I never intended to stay in Australia permanently, just until my contract was up. I love England. Could I leave it forever? Leave my mum and dad? The honest answer is, I don’t know. Part of me wants to give this a go. I don’t want to miss out on being happy for the rest of my life because I didn’t take a chance.”
I call his number the moment I reach my desk and he answers pretty quickly. “Hi, beautiful, how are you?”
“I’m good; excellent in fact. Where are you?”
