Page 65 of Guilty Minds
"I'll take the couch," I say with a cringe, causing Freya to laugh. God knows what they've done on that bed. That one time I accidentally saw what they do on that counter…shiver… I still have nightmares. I see Alex as a brother, and that Pornhub live video traumatized the hell out of me.
“Fair enough,” she keeps laughing.
I follow her to the kitchen and look around. “When are you guys going to expand? You need more space now. And I need more untouched countertops.”
She prepares the tea, leaving for a moment to get cookies from the pantry.Now, we’re talking. “I made meatloaf. Want some?”
My face must be a mask of pure horror because she throws her hands up with a loud cry. “It was one time!”
“Frey, I couldn’t figure out which end needed to use the toilet for three days. Can I just have some tea?” I fake-smile with all my teeth.
“You’re all sissies! Alex is still scared to eat anything but lasagna! That jerk!” She says in righteous anger. I decide to take the smart approach and wait it out, trying my hardest to hide my smile. “Yeah, go ahead, laugh at my expense.” She’s barely keeping herself from bursting with laughter now, but I give up first, and she follows. “Okay, that was pretty bad, I agree.” She shudders, remembering. “Brr.” She then returns to fixing her perfectly lined cookies on the plate. "So…"
“So?” I parrot.
“C’mon! I need details!” She throws her arms out.
“Alex didn’t tell you?”
“Nope,” she pops the p. “He said it’s up to you to tell.” I just love Alex some more.
“Okay, then.” And I tell her everything. I meaneverything. About that night, about all Justin's visits. About my feelings toward him and about the events of the past hour.
When I'm done, I drink the whole mug of tea in one big gulp and pour myself another. Anything to make myself busy, prolonging the silence before Freya launches into her judgment. I’m sure she will.
But she’s focused on the wall behind me without blinking. I glance over my shoulder to see if there’s a bear there. Why else would she be staring so hard? We all know Freya and her relationship with bears.
Finally, she speaks. “Poor, poor girl,” she says as she stares behind me. The silence continues, and I begin to worry. She blinks and moves her attention to me. “It makes so much sense now.”
“You need to be a little more specific than that.” I’m dreading what she has to say next.
“Justin.” Is all she responds with.
“Again, more specific, please.”
“His jokester personality.” She explains, not helpfully.
I raise my brows, still not getting it.
“He adopted this carefree, funny personality and hides behind it.”
“What does he hide?” I’m genuinely confused.
“Guilt, Kayla. He’s hiding the fact that it's his fault." Her face is full of sadness. For Justin and for Alicia.
I jump from my stool, nearly spilling the tea from the mug. “It’s not his fault, Freya. It’s some monster’s fault. Not his.”
“Sit down, Kayla.” I clench my jaw at her order, “Sit down, Kayla. Please. That’s not what I meant. Trust me, I don’t blame him, but I’m sure he does.”
"He does." I pop back on the stool, and my shoulders sag with compassion.
“His insomnia. Man, it makes so much sense now.” Freya smacks her forehead. What’s up with people smacking their foreheads? It’s painful.
“You think that night caused his insomnia?” I begin chewing on the inside of my cheek.
“Probably.” Freya chews on her lips. “Trauma causes a lot of crap. So does guilt. I mean, look at Alex and me. One can't forget, and the other can't remember."
“Yeah, you found each other.” I chuckle.
