Page 66 of Guilty Minds
“That we did.” Her eyes become dreamy every time Alex’s name is mentioned. I’m so happy for them. If I hadn’t met them, I'd never believe in love like that. One might say it's just passion and will fade away, but I don't think so. I never had a normal family where both parents loved each other. I never had that as a good example of how it should be, but now I see it, and I want that. Only that.
“I’m sorry you got sucked into all that. And I’m really, really sorry for Alicia. I’ve never even met her, you know.” She lifts her shoulder. “Always wanted to, I keep inviting her over through Justin, but she’s never showed up. Do you think he passed on the invitation?”
“I don’t know, considering her story.” I shrug. “He’s probably protecting her.”
“From me?” Freya looks taken aback, and I hurry to explain.
“From everything.”
“Do you think she’s hiding?”
"She might. I mean, she went through hell. She was always a part of a popular crowd, with beautiful hair and tight, beautiful clothes. They all wear such tight clothes! To think of it,” I stop for a second, “I haven’t seen her wearing any tight clothes for a long time. Or anything even a little revealing. Huh. She’s always dressed in a huge sweatsuit.”
“She changed her wardrobe to be invisible.” Freya pours herself another cup. “That’s how she’s coping.”
"Yeah," I murmur under my nose.
"I can't believe they tormented you for so many years for something you didn’t do.” She furiously shakes her head. “And every time you asked, they shut you down.”
“Because they thought I knew.”
“Don’t defend them here. I understand where they were coming from, I do, but Jake is an asshole for using his position like that, and Justin… I don’t have the words for him right now. All this could have been avoided if he just had talked to you.”
“Tell me about it.” I down the rest of my tea and push my cup to her for more.
“Why are you sad? I have a strong suspicion that your pumpkin is about to turn into a carriage. I’m confused why you can’t sense it in the air.” I don’t even want to guess what she means by ‘pumpkin’ here, but I have a few guesses.
“Not for this Cinderella, no.” I throw a pillow at her.
“What?” She laughs and throws it back. “You’ve had a crush on him since forever.”
“I know! But he’s toxic. We are toxic. Every time we’re in the same space, I want to take a shower after because that’s how dirty I feel.”
Her expression sobers up. “If you feel that way, then yeah, he’s bad for you. I just—” She chews on the inside corner of her lips—the classic tell that she’s nervous. “It’s just that I picked up on a different feeling from you when you’re around him.”
I sigh—she has a point there. My chemistry with Justin is off the charts, but that doesn't mean we're good for each other. Toxic is what I’ve been running away from all my life. I don’t want toxic. I don’t want to be dragged into something that can make me vulnerable. I don’t want to depend on or belong to anyone because nothing is forever. Eventually, Justin will want something fresh and exciting. Where will that leave me?
Nah, this new revelation won't swing my decision: I'm done with pining after Justin Attleborough. It's time to move on. Even with recent events, even with this big revelation and him telling me I'm stuck in his head.No, move on, girl.
“I can’t just close my eyes to all the shit he’s said to me. And I can’t close my eyes to the fact that he’s related to Jake, my biggest bully. I understand now why they thought I deserved it, I do, but that doesn't change the fact that in their eyes, I'm trailer trash from the wrong side of town. And I will always be that: trash to them. With no education or money.”
“It’s not like Justin finished college either. He enlisted with Alex, remember? And he never went back.” She shrugs.
“True. But he came back and built a business from the ground up even after spending three years in jail, and he’s doing fine. Where I’m still struggling with payments for my phone plan.”
“First, you’re five years younger than him. Second, stop comparing yourself like that. The local hillbillies talked down to you too much; I think I need to have a conversation with a few of them.” Her lips are pressed tight, closely resembling a cat’s butt. I know it’s a serious moment, but I'm about to laugh. "What? You disagree? So what that you were born poor. It’s not a sin!”
“You know I’m called a ‘whore,’ too?” I ask, rubbing my temples.
“Yeah, so what? Fuck them." She bumps her fist in the air. It's so cute. “Let’s see what Justin thinks about you.”
“That’s exactly what Justin thinks about me.” I raise a brow, silently reminding her about the things he’d said to me.
“No, that’s what he wassaying, but I don’t think that’s what he wasthinking.” Her eyes widen with meaning.
“I think you’re mistaken.” I try to mimic her face.
“I think I am not. How do you think your car is driving, huh?” Her lips spread into a mischievous smile.
