Page 61 of Kindling
Eiley was sitting at the kitchen table, looking more than ever like the ancient porcelain dolls Mum liked to display in the living room. Scrunched tissues surrounded her, her face red and blotchy and her eyes swollen from tears, as she planted a kiss on Brook’s forehead before fussing over Bernard.
“I told Mum not to call you,” she muttered, then said to her son: “Brook, go and help Sky with his dinner, please.”
“When isourdinner?” Brook groused, rubbing his stomach.
“Soon.” He left still grumbling, but not before Fraser ruffled his long brown hair. It was his job, after all, to annoy his nephew.
As Eiley lifted her head, she blew her nose and squeezed her eyes closed. “Harper. Sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“I thought you might like a friend,” Harper said quietly. She brushed past Fraser to sit at the table with his sister, taking her hand. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but Iamyour friend. I have decided, and you’re not allowed to disagree. Besides, I’ve always been told I have exceptionally good shoulders to cry on. Feel them. They’re very soft.”
Eiley laughed through more tears, which squeezed Fraser’s heart. For a better reason this time. How was it that Harper always knew what to say?
“I haven’t had a friend in a long time, really. I wouldn’t dare disagree.”
Harper smiled, first at her, and then at Fraser when he sat down opposite. For such a full household, it was only a small table, and his thighs brushed with hers underneath it.
“What happened?” he asked. “What did the prick do this time?”
Eiley shuddered. “I hate him, Frase. I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hate him.”
“Are you sure I can’t get out the chainsaw?”
“I’m starting to seriously consider it.”
“I’m quite dangerous with a hammer, too, it turns out. If you’re looking for a hitwoman,” Harper added, nudging Fraser’s knee.
Eiley let out a sad chuckle, but it only triggered more tears.
“Come on, Eiley. What did he do?” Fraser prodded.
Part of him was afraid to know, but he had to.
Eiley’s chin wobbled, and she dabbed her cheeks with a crumpled tissue. “He came around to see the kids completely out of the blue, and I was thick enough to let him through the door. I thought maybe he’d seen sense, but he…” Her voice cracked, and Fraser darted to the other side of the table, pulling her to his chest.
“It’s okay,” he soothed, as Harper squeezed Eiley’s hand tighter.
“He said,” Eiley continued, “that he only wanted to take Brook. He said Sky is too difficult, and Saffron won’t remember these things anyway. As though he isn’t their father! Like he’s just some glorified babysitter!” She was shouting now. “I don’t get to choose which child I get to take care of every day. I don’t get to choose whether I want to wake up with my seven-month-old five times a night, or watch Sky struggle with things beyond my control, or go to every school play Brook signs up for even when I’m exhausted – and even if I did, Iwouldn’tchoose between them because I’m their mother! Because I love them! But he… He doesn’t love any of us unless it’s easy.”
“I’m so sorry, Eiley,” Harper said. “It just isn’t fair, and you all deserve better.”
Fraser gave a painful wince, kissing Eiley’s forehead. “He’s unbelievable.”
“He’s a wee shitebag,” Harper said fiercely. “Isn’t that what you call it?”
“Aye, that’s one way of putting it.” Eiley crumpled all over again. “I just don’t get it. I’ll never get it. He’s just like our dad.”
“Then you know you and the kids are better off without him,” he offered gently, “just like we were.” After Dad had left and the dust had settled, Fraser had found himself strangely relieved. He wouldn’t have to stand on his tiptoes anymore to search for a face that wasn’t there, during school nativities and junior rugby matches. He wouldn’t have to ask MumIs Dad coming?, knowing that the answer would beNot this time, love, ever again.
He saw Harper process it. Understand. She leaned back, still gripping Eiley’s hand, her features soft and receptive. She wasn’t even a little afraid of big emotions, and fuck, he admired that about her.
“What did you say to him after that?” Harper asked.
“I told him to get fucked,” Eiley admitted.
Fraser let out a noise of surprise. His littlest sister never swore. Cam had the mouth of a sailor, but he hadn’t heard Eiley curse once in her life, not even the three times she’d been in labour.
“I don’t want him here anymore. I don’t need him, and neither do the kids,” she decided. “I told him that if he only wanted to be a part-time dad, he wasn’t welcome. I was silly enough to expect a fight from him… but he just walked away like it was nothing.”
