Page 40 of Rise of the Gods: Vardor's Destiny
His grin was getting smugger by the moment; it made him look even more imperious. It should have appalled me because it fed every fear I had ever felt for men like him, and the fact that it didn't startled me. For a moment, just a fraction of a moment, he looked almost familiar.Having been kept by a man for days will do that to you, the voice reminded me, and I was glad for the rational explanation, because... because for a second there, I had seen him differently. Leaning back on a Roman couch, plucking grapes and grinning that same grin. A large, hot sun stood high on the horizon to his back, palm trees swayed... I shook my head to clear it. It seemed delusions were contagious. If I kept this up, I wouldn't need Thomas to take me to St. George's Fields. I would take myself.
"You will," Vardor assured me with all the arrogance his expression portrayed.
I fought a smile and won.
"Help me get my funds," I changed the subject. "They will help."
He waved his hand. "We won't need it."
"Please," I fluttered my eyelashes, curved my lips just like I had learned to do with Thomas. Careful not to overdo it.
"If your heart is set to it," he sighed.
"It is, thank you."
"Tomorrow morning, after we get clothes for the journey, we will stop and retrieve your... funds."
Giddiness overcame me, but I cautioned myself. I didn't want Abbie anywhere near this man. "I can do it myself."
He let out a vile curse that rose heat into my face as if somebody lit a match. Nobody had ever said words like that in my presence. Well, somebody must have otherwise I wouldn'thave known what they meant, but they were whispered by giggling girls at the time.
"You should go get some sleep," he commanded, pointing at the bed.
Did he worry I would try to run if I went by myself? That was the only explanation for him going off like that.
"I won't try to escape, I promise," I tried, but he shook his head, all playfulness gone, replaced by a frown that made my heart go faster in fear. "Alright, listen." I started with the rest of the story before I lost my nerve. "My father arranged this marriage to Thomas for me. He basically blackmailed him into marrying me."
Vardor narrowed his eyes, "Why would he have to blackmail anybody to marryyou?"
The look of bewilderment on his face and in his words stroked my bruised ego. For the first time, I realized just how bruised it was. Besides the insult of having beenforcedon someone, I’d found myself constantly in situations where people looked down on me and belittled me. And all the while, I’d known of the terrible plans my future husband had for me... I looked at Vardor as if someone had opened my eyes and shown me a light. He didn't look quite as fearsome just then.
"You are the most beautiful, magnificent woman in the world. You are a goddess! Every man you honor by even looking at should be falling to his knees and worshiping you. That man is a fool. Say the word, and I will slay him."
Every single one of my good feelings should have evaporated at his words. They should have appalled me. Instead, there was a part in me, a vengeful part, that cried out for him toslayThomas. And my father. And every person who had hurt me.Thatappalled me. It wasn't just the thought of it, no, it was the deep-rooted sensation of feeling justified in thinking that way.
"Because Thomas is an earl." The tone of my voice grounded me, brought me back to myself. "Earls don't marry merchant daughters. So my father blackmailed him."
"You didn't want to marry him then?" Vardor seemed confused.
"I don't know. It's complicated..." I hedged. "He would have taken me to Egypt, and I already told you that was my greatest dream."
"So you were going to sell yourself to him?" Vardor summarized.
His words insulted me. "I didn't have a choice. I had to do what my father told me to do."
Vardor's brow creased in obvious confusion. "Why?"
"Because... because... he is my father." What was so hard to understand about that? "Did you never do something because you were commanded to do it?"
He tilted his head. "I was a warrior, so yes. I followed commands for a long time..." he seemed to think my words over and conclude in my favor as he waved his hand in such a magnanimous manner, I should have laughed at the sheer audacity of it. But it fitted him. It seemed as natural on him as his hair, his eyes.
"Anyway, I overheard Thomas say that a few months after the wedding, he planned to send me to St. George's Fields and annul—" I saw his startled expression. "An asylum where the insane people are kept," I explained.
If anything, that seemed to confuse him more. "You have a place where you send insane people?"
"Yes, don't you...." I broke off because the way his eyebrows rose and his body moved back told me exactly what he would have done with an insane person, and I didn't want to hear him say it out loud.
"That must be a very fearsome place," he concluded, astonishing me.
