Page 10 of The Lone Cyborg
He stood outside, alone in the cold as he watched the last color fade from the sky, alone as he had been so many times before. But he’d never felt his loneliness quite as harshly as he did tonight, knowing that Mattie was so close and yet so impossibly far away.
A light glowed from inside the shelter, showing a tantalizing hint of her figure as she went about her evening chores. He found himself longing to explore his connection with the woman on the other side of the barrier. He wanted to help her, but he also wanted more. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to lose himself in the sweet scent of her skin and the softness of her body. He wanted to claim her lips again, to explore every inch of that small, strong body, to experience the blissful oblivion of being with her.
He sucked in a breath and shook his head. Such thoughts were forbidden. He was a cyborg, less than human.
Trojan came to join him, nudging his shoulder playfully and shaking him out of his abstraction. But as he began to set up camp, he couldn’t deny the growing yearning in his heart.
He wasn’t just a cyborg—he was a man, and he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything.
CHAPTER FIVE
Several days later Mattie stood on the ridge at the edge of her claim, looking out at the expanse of orange and red and gold, of craggy peaks and deep craters. A desolate landscape but one that held a beauty of its own—one she rarely stopped to appreciate even though she’d chosen her claim partially because of that view. The sun hung low on the horizon, casting long shadows across the barren landscape, and the familiar sense of isolation settled over her like a well-worn cloak.
Her thoughts drifted to her mother, the woman who had abandoned her at the orphanage all those years ago. Over the years the sting of that betrayal had hardened into a resolve to never rely on anyone but herself. Independence was her shield, her protection against the pain of being left behind.
But now, with J-418’s presence on her claim, that shield was beginning to crack. Over the past few days, she had found herself growing more and more attached to the big, silent cyborg. When he’d said he was staying to keep watch over her, she assumed he’d do no more than that. Instead he’d insisted on helping herwith her mining operations, shouldering more than his share of the workload and waving off her objections.
She’d discovered the deep vein of kindness beneath his gruff exterior and the dry humor that appeared more and more frequently the longer they were together. He’d slowly chipped away at her defenses until now it was hard to imagine her claim without him. The thought made her chest seize. He wasn’t staying—this was just a temporary arrangement.
Soon there would be no more accidental touches as they brushed against each other while working—no more jolts of electricity coursing through her at his touch, making her heart race. And then there was that kiss… still seared into her memory like a brand. Alone in her shelter at night, she found herself longing to feel his lips on hers again, to lose herself in the comfort of his embrace.
Last night she’d gone as far as the door of the airlock, intending to invite him inside before common sense—or fear—asserted itself. She’d hesitated there for a long moment, then wandered over to the window, searching for him in the darkness. He was standing where she was standing now, his hand on Trojan’s withers as they both stared out into the night. She’d watched him for a long time before returning to her solitary bed, Sylvester chirping sleepily at the disturbance.
She shook her head, trying to clear the treacherous thoughts from her mind. She couldn’t afford to let her guard down, to open herself up to the possibility of being hurt again. And yet, as she watched him come towards her now, his big figure highlighted by the setting sun, the tug of longing in her chest was almost stronger than her fears.
“Is everything all right, Miss Carson?” he asked.
She forced a smile, pushing down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
“You could call me Mattie, you know. We’re practically living together.”
She was sure a flash of heat appeared in his eyes before he shook his head.
“It’s… safer this way.”
Did he honestly think a title made a difference? She rolled her eyes, but didn’t attempt to convince him.
“I was just admiring the view,” she said, gesturing to the stark beauty of the Martian landscape. “It’s easy to forget how incredible this place is, even with all its challenges.”
He nodded, his gaze following hers.
“It is beautiful, in its own way. But also lonely, even for someone used to being on their own.”
His words hit a little too close to home, and she felt her throat tighten.
“I’m used to it,” she said, her voice rough. “And being alone is… safer, in some ways,” she added, echoing his previous words.
He turned to her, his eyes searching her face.
“Safer, perhaps. But not always better.” He hesitated for a moment, then reached out and brushed a stray curl from her forehead, his touch feather-light. “Everyone needs someone, Mattie. Even the strongest among us.”
She swallowed hard, fighting the urge to lean into his touch. She knew he was right—knew that the walls she had built around herheart were slowly crumbling, but the thought of letting him in, of trusting him with her vulnerabilities, still terrified her.
“I… I don’t know if I can,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the wind that whipped across the plain. “I’ve been on my own for so long. I’m not sure I know how to be any other way.”
He nodded, and she suspected that he probably understood that feeling more than anyone else she’d ever met. She swallowed hard, then took refuge in humor.
“And look at that—you called me Mattie and nothing terrible happened.”
