Page 111 of When I Picture You
“But that’s okay now. You’ll be out, nothing to hide.”
Suddenly she wondered if this wasn’t all a mistake. Renee wasn’t prepared for what Lola was dragging her into. Lola’s heart was racing.Nothing to hide.Once she did this, the one thing she’d managed to keep private would be exposed. Her whole life, her past, every song would be under the Lo-Lites’ microscope again. Her skin crawled at the thought.
Renee reached for her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said. “I just got a little nervous, that’s all.”
“Nervous is normal. You want to talk about it?”
As Renee circled Lola in her arms, Lola tried to calm her speeding heart. “I’m okay,” she said. “Really.”
LOLA POURED Aglass of rosé and handed it to Claudia, who was basking in the late November sun on Lola’s patio. To Lola, it was a little chilly, but Claudia was always complaining about the cold inChicago. Lola was happy to brave the L.A. winter under a blanket if it meant making her sister happy. Everything was better with Claudia around. She had flown in for her interview with Renee tomorrow, but the trip would be short—she only had three days off from the hospital, in exchange for working Thanksgiving. They were getting in as much sister time as possible, so Renee was temporarily exiled to her hotel.
“Are Mom and Dad getting on camera for this too?” Claudia asked.
“No, thankfully,” Lola sighed. It had been a point of debate in the earliest stages of planning. Micah proposed sending a film crew to Fellows. A visit to the childhood home was conventional for films like this, after all, but Gloriana had vetoed it. Over the course of Lola’s career, they had both directed a lot of effort to steering Lola’s mother away from the press. Her dad had no interest in that kind of thing, but her mom was unpredictable and craved attention. Lola didn’t want to risk getting her in front of a camera.
“That’s good,” Claudia said. “It would have been funny, though, to see Renee interview Mom.”
Lola’s blood pressure spiked at the thought. “Why’s that?”
“Mom doesn’t exactly love Renee. She always complained that she had no respect for authority.”
“She still doesn’t.” Lola laughed. “That’s probably why I like her.”
“How’s it been having her around for the movie?”
“It’s been nice.”Nice?Lola bit the inside of her lip, hard, for a second, then added, “Actually,niceisn’t the right word for it. There’s something I wanted to tell you about that. So, Renee and I have been spending a lot of time together and we, um … we kind of fell in love?”
Claudia’s mouth hung open. “Shut up, Lola. Like—ReneeRenee? ReneeFeldman?”
“Yes,thatRenee.”
“You could be dating a god-tier celebrity, and you fall for the grumpy weirdo from next door?” Lola’s expression went rough, ready to defend Renee, and Claudia burst out laughing. “Oh my god, your face.”
“Renee’s not the grumpy weirdo next door anymore.”
“I saw her this summer—she’s still a grumpy weirdo.”
“She is, but she’s not next door anymore. We basically live together.”
“Like, here? In this house?” Claudia’s head whipped around, like Renee was going to pop out from behind the box shrub.
“She’s at a hotel right now, but most of the time, yeah.”
“Wow, so this is serious.”
“Claudia! I literally just said we’re in love.”
“You think you fall in love with everyone you date.”
“Renee’s different. She’s just … completely different.” A smile spread across Lola’s face.
“Okay, okay,” Claudia said, now grinning back at her. “It’s taking me a minute to process, but I’m happy for you. Dating someone normal will be good for you.”
“Why, to keep me grounded?” Lola laughed.
“No, that’s your big sister’s job. But your last relationship—if you can call it that—wasn’t right.”
