Page 127 of When I Picture You
She should have listened to Gloriana.
At least one person would be pleased that Renee was out of Lola’s life, she thought ruefully. Gloriana never liked Renee and she had been right, as she so often was. Renee hadn’t approved of the film she’d been hired to make—which Gloriana had known was absurd and entitled—so she’d convinced Lola to expose her secrets on camera instead. Now Lola was back exactly where she’d been a year ago: heartbroken, betrayed, and with an album full of songs she wouldnever again bear to play. Her ever-after had been dangled before her, then snatched away, again.
At least she hadn’t shared her new songs with the label yet. They knew she’d been in the studio, but the songs still lived on the drive she and Ackerlund shared, waiting for their final polish. Lola would be in deep shit for all the studio time she’d wasted, in addition to the canceled sessions. But at this point, who cared? It was only a matter of time before they sent her the ghostwritten roster of hits for her next album. All she’d have to do was record the vocals.
She pulled the blanket over her head and tried to sleep.
LOLA HEARD THEbedroom door open.
“I’m fine, Cassidy,” Lola croaked.
“You’re clearly not.” That wasn’t Cassidy’s voice. Lola poked her head out of the covers and startled. The imposing figure of Tatiana Jones stood in the doorway. Lola pushed herself up in bed, suddenly conscious that she didn’t know how long it had been since she’d washed her hair.
“What are you doing here?”
“What areyoudoing here?” Tatiana said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “Cassidy said you’ve been holed up in here for a week. She’s worried. And so am I.”
“Renee’s gone.” Lola fell back against the crumpled pillow. Her eyes welled with tears again at saying the words out loud.
“I know, babe.” Tatiana kicked off her shoes and lay down beside Lola. “I’m so sorry.”
Lola cried for a while, taking comfort in Tatiana’s presence. It was nice to have someone there beside her. Cassidy had been sneaking nervously into the room to set pretzels and Gatorade at her bedside, as if Lola were a sick child, but Cassidy was employed as an assistant,not a therapist. Lola was grateful that Cassidy had reached out to Tatiana.
“Here’s the plan,” Tatiana said when Lola’s tears tapered off. “I have four hours until I have a flight to catch. You’re going to shower and I’m going to order pizza and milkshakes. And then you’re going to tell me what happened. Okay?”
“Okay.”
LOLA FELT Alittle more like herself for following Tatiana’s instructions. They sat in the kitchen, and Lola managed to eat two slices of pizza, washed down with a milkshake. Then she told Tatiana the whole story: how Renee had played her for fame, convincing her to come out, and when Gloriana had asked Lola to walk it back, Renee had left.
“She didn’t seem like a famewhore,” Tatiana said with a shake of her head. “And I’ve seen my share. I’m a pretty good judge.”
“I didn’t think so either,” Lola said. “But Gloriana saw it all along. She told me, and I ignored it.”
Tatiana thought for a second. “If she was after fame, she did a shit job of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were together for months and there’s really only one article about the relationship. Usually people like that will milk their moment for all it’s worth. It’s like she didn’t even have her own publicist.”
“She didn’t.”
“A manager?”
“No. She had a thesis advisor. She’s finishing grad school.”
“Doesn’t really sound like it was about fame.” Tatiana’s mouth puckered to one side. “Tell me again why you had that fight?”
“Gloriana saw those tabloid photos. We talked about issuing a denial. I convinced her not to, but we decided to put coming out on hold. She asked that Renee and I stick to filming in public, until the rumors blew over. I told Renee that and she lost it.”
“But you think she was upset about themovie?” Tatiana pressed her hands flat to the counter and blew out a breath. “Look, I know you’re not in the best place to take criticism right now, but you can be so oblivious, Lola. Of course she got upset—you basically told her you’d decided to hide your relationship indefinitely!”
“I guess that’s true, but we’d alreadybeenhiding it.”
“And she was happy with that?”
“She nevercomplained,” Lola said lamely. “She thought it was temporary. The plan was for me to come out in the documentary.”
“Wow. Okay. That’s a big step.”
