Page 132 of When I Picture You
“It’s not me, honey. I support your vision, I always have, but the label—”
“I don’t pay you to lie to me.” Lola barked a laugh. “Actually, I guess I have been. But I won’t anymore. I know you didn’t send the song to Jamie. I know you told them the album was on hold.”
The barest flash of surprise crossed Gloriana’s expression, which, given how immobile her facial muscles were, Lola counted as a victory. “I did ask them for more time, that’s true. But I did that for you, so you could heal. I’m looking out for you.”
“Were you looking out for me when you sent that photographer after me in Michigan, then sold the photos to a tabloid?”
Gloriana flinched, but quickly smoothed it over. “I—well, yes, I was.”
Anger gathered hot and hard in Lola’s belly. “Explain that to me.”
“I saw through that girl the minute I met her. Renee was using you. You’re a star, Lola, and she was nothing. She got her claws into you atthat wedding, then she wormed her way into your life. You couldn’t see it, but you started acting different. I tried to warn you, but you were under her spell. I thought if you got a taste of the future that Renee wanted for you, you’d see.” Gloriana’s eyes were shining, and her hands spread, looking like some blameless saint. “You’re family to me, Lola. I know you’re hurt and I’m sorry, but I’d do anything to protect you, and I won’t apologize for that.”
Lola paused a moment. It was strange, how plain it now was that Gloriana manipulated her. She could feel it working, like a psychological trip wire, triggering the relief of receiving help from someone who loved you. Now she knew it wasn’t real.
Gloriana was still looking at her with those righteous, loving eyes. She truly expected Lola to forgive her.
“That’s not how it happened,” Lola said.
“Of course it is.” Gloriana’s face softened into gentle confusion.
“No. There was nothing going on between me and Renee when we went to Michigan. We’d fucked once, that’s all.” Lola relished the edge of rough language on her tongue. “She took me out of town, as a friend, because I needed to get away. There was no reason to worry that she had herclawsin me, but you still had us followed. You knew I didn’t have any security with me, and you sent a pap after me. And then you waited two months to leak the photos, for a time when it made sense for you.”
“Forme?”
“Stop making that face!” Lola snapped. “Take responsibility for what you did. I told you I wanted to come out. It was out of your hands, and you knew that, so you used those pictures to stop me.”
Gloriana stood and smoothed her skirt. “Lola, you’re going through a lot right now, so I’ll do you the courtesy of forgetting this conversation. Head home and get some rest. We can speak again in a few days.”
There was a lot Lola wanted to say. She wanted to explain to Gloriana the yearslong pain she had been in—a pain she had accepted—of denying herself. How wounding this betrayal was, how she wasn’t ungrateful, how Gloriana needed to let her grow up. But explaining it would only create the impression that her experiences were open for debate, and they weren’t. Gloriana wasn’t her mother. She was her manager, and the clock on that relationship was quickly running down.
Lola stood as well. “I will head home. But before I do, I should let you know that I’m terminating my contract with you, effective immediately. My lawyers will be in touch. Let’s run all communication through them. It’ll be simpler.”
Gloriana started. “Lola, no, that’s—what are you saying? Let’s talk about this—”
“We just did. But I want you to know that you were family to me too. I guess that doesn’t always mean as much as we’d like.”
Lola paused with her hand on the door. Even now, Gloriana didn’t quite look upset. That figured. In all the years they’d known each other, Gloriana had so rarely seen Lola resolved.
“I was really happy with her. That’s why I was acting different,” Lola said. “Goodbye, Gloriana.”
In the elevator down, the emotion hit her all at once. Heart racing, sweating, vision blurring, nervous system shrieking. She made it to the car. Cassidy was waiting, staring into her phone.
“Did it go okay?” she asked.
Lola released a deep breath.
“Not really. But it’s done.” Lola gestured to the phone, eager for a distraction. “Isthatgoing okay?”
A grin lit up Cassidy’s face. “Oh, yeah. More than okay.”
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