Page 130 of When I Picture You
Lola’s heart swelled with affection at how Cassidy had cared for her the last few days. “I think I am low on micronutrients. Thanks, Cassidy.”
“How are you feeling?”
“A little rough, but better. Could you ask the housekeeper to do my room? I’m going to be … getting back to normal.”
Only when Cassidy perked up did Lola realize how worried she had looked. “I hate seeing you sad like that again.”
“Me too,” Lola said. “Thank you for checking in on me. And for calling Tatiana.”
Cassidy ducked her head, smiling to herself, and focused on deseeding a papaya. Lola had always kept Cassidy at arm’s length. But Cassidy had already seen Lola at her worst. Maybe Lola could let her in.
She leaned a hip against the counter. “Listen, I’ve been thinking—maybe I should release the album anyway? The songs are all about Renee, but they’re good, right? I don’t want to waste them. What do you think?”
“What doIthink?” Cassidy’s cheeks pinked. She stopped fussing with the fruit. “I think that would be great! I know those songs mean a lot to you. The ones I’ve heard are really good—I’ve been getting them stuck in my head all the time. But isn’t the album shelved?”
Lola popped a strawberry into her mouth, the flavor bright on her tongue. “No, that’s the Ava album,” she said as she chewed. “But whoknows, maybe I’ll put some of the Ava songs on there too and write a break-up anthem or two.”
“No, I meant, isn’tthisalbum shelved?”
Lola shook her head. “No, this time is different.”
Cassidy’s face had gone pale above the partly sliced papaya. “Lola, Gloriana told Jamie it was shelved.”
Gloriana hadn’t mentioned that. Maybe she’d assumed that’s what Lola would want. She was probably trying to make things easier on Lola. But there was a doubtful pit in Lola’s stomach.
“When did she do that?”
“Yesterday. He texted me because Gloriana told him there was going to be a new direction for the album, and he wanted to check if everything was okay with you—but I told him it was!”
“That’s weird,” Lola said uneasily. “I had just talked to her about playing ‘Starcrossed’ for Jamie. I was clear that I wanted to move forward.”
Even if half of Lola’s brain was churning out excuses for Gloriana, the rest of it recognized the simplest explanation. She needed to have a serious talk with her manager.
But Cassidy was looking wan. “I’m not mad that you talked to your uncle about me,” Lola said. “I trust you, Cassidy.”
Cassidy burst into tears. “You shouldn’t! I’m so sorry, Lola. I feel terrible—”
Lola gently took the knife from her hand and sat her down on a stool. It took Cassidy a minute to calm down before she could speak.
“You know those pictures, from Michigan?” Cassidy hiccupped.
Lola stilled. “What about them?”
“It’s all my fault—I think she sent that photographer after you.”
“Who did?”
“Gloriana.”
Lola’s insides went ice cold. Gloriana had treated those pictureslike a scandal—and the only way to clean it up was to do exactly what Gloriana said. To stop being seen in public with Renee. To put off coming out. To get back together with Nash. Lola pressed her lips together hard, then asked, “Why do you think it was her?”
“Gloriana called when you left and said she was worried, that it wasn’t like you to run off, and—and she wasn’t wrong, you never do stuff like that! She knew you had shared your location with me, and she asked me to watch it and to tell her if you went anywhere.”
It all made sense. The paparazzo had no reason to be in a small town in Michigan, camped out at that exact brewery. And why expose the moments before and after the kiss, but skip the money shot? Lola Gray kissing a woman was a much bigger story than Lola Gray “getting cozy” with one. But now she understood: Gloriana had made sure they didn’t have photos of the kiss. She’d only sold them the photos she could spin—as long as Lola fell back into line.
For years, Claudia had been telling her that Gloriana was manipulative and controlling, and Lola had defended her. Lola had thought Gloriana cared about her—Lola Grigorian, not Lola Gray. Worse, she thought Gloriana loved her. After all, Gloriana had been like the mother she’d always wanted. Lola had trusted Gloriana’s guidance over her own opinions, because Gloriana had made a million good decisions that had built Lola’s career. But now Lola could see that there was one issue they would never agree on. Gloriana would never be convinced that Lola should come out. Those paparazzi photos were proof. Yet as mad as Lola was over that, the fact that Gloriana had tried to block “Starcrossed” made her furious.
Gloriana could try to control Lola’s personal life, but she could not fuck with her music.
