Page 44 of When I Picture You
She didn’t.
“Feeling good?” Renee asked.
Lola felt warm and loose. She tried to say something clever, but all that came out was “Yeah,” and a giggle, as she buried her face in Renee’s shoulder. She wasn’t really high enough to be acting like this, was she? But thinking about it only made her tremble with laughter. It didn’t matter, because Renee was there. Renee wouldn’t let anything bad happen.
Lola lifted her head and peered at Renee.
Renee was grinning.
Lola wanted to run her tongue over those teeth.
“God, you’re adorable.” Renee’s voice was syrupy as Lola’s head fell back against her shoulder. “I want to make a movie about you.”
“Youaremaking a movie about me.”
“Am I?” Renee sighed. “Sometimes it feels like there’s none of you in it.”
“What d’you mean?”
“Who you were onstage, who you are right now—that girl vanishes when the cameras are on. I want to see you on film the way you are when we’re alone.”
Lola angled her head to see Renee better. Her green eyes were heavy-lidded, her lashes barely curled, but her brows were low.
“Then film me when we’re alone,” Lola said.
Renee gave her a faintly devious look, then twisted her body against Lola’s to pull her phone from her pocket. The motion set the hammock swinging again, rolling Lola into her, and Renee’s arm slipped under her, holding Lola against her chest. They were too close together for a good angle, so Renee filmed them both with the front-facing camera.
“Not what I meant,” Lola whined, although the grainy, half-lit image of the two of them was transfixing. “I’m a mess!”
“You’re gorgeous. You’re perfect,” Renee said. “You always are.”
Lola watched herself smile in the camera. It wasn’t her normal smile. It was a little silly and off-kilter—and Renee was beaming at her like she’d never seen anything so glorious.
“Introduce yourself for the audience,” Renee said.
Lola tried to force herself into a straight face, and failed, then finally managed to say, “I’m Lo. I’m a songwriter, and a singer.”
Their eyes met through the camera and Renee let out a slow breath.
“Yeah, I want you like this,” she said in a low voice.
Then have me—kiss me, right now.The thought was clear and skyblue and felt like the ring of a bell, loud enough that Renee must have heard it. Lola’s gaze glided away from the camera as her knuckle traced along the line of Renee’s jaw.
Someone coughed.
“Sorry to—interrupt or whatever. Can I get my vape back? We’re heading out.” Chloe was bashfully scratching the back of her head. Butterfly Clips stood a few feet behind, knotting her fingers with impatience at their separation. Renee shifted on the hammock to hand the vape back. Cool air flowed like creek water into the new gaps between them.
Lola’s mouth went dry as her head came back together. What had she beenthinking? To kiss Renee in front of all these people?
“We should go too,” Lola said. She stood as gracefully as possible when one was a little high, a little drunk, and lying in a hammock.
Renee headed back to the trailer for her stuff, while Lola said her goodbyes. As Butterfly Clips pulled Chloe away, Lola heard her say, “They make a hot couple.”
Were they talking about her and Renee?
Did she want them to be?
