Page 63 of When I Picture You
“Shouldn’t we put the groceries away first?”
“The groceries will be fine, it’s like forty degrees.”
As soon as Lola was out of the car, Renee grabbed her hand and tugged her around to the back deck.
“Wait, it’s so dark, I’m going to trip—oh.”
Before them, Lake Michigan stretched to the dark horizon, a rich blue-black that sparkled quicksilver where it caught the moonlight. The moon hung half-full in a sky that was clear of clouds, but freckled with uncountable stars. They could hear the waves pulsing steadily at the beach below, and above, the wind whispering through the trees a hushed sound likeyes.
All Renee’s excitement resolved into something still and certain.
Lola was staring at the sky. Pale moonlight washed over her face and caught brightly in her eyes. Then she let out a small, delighted gasp. “A shooting star! Did you see it?”
Renee had a lifetime to watch shooting stars. Lola, in this moment, was more precious.
“No,” Renee said. Her voice was already a little ragged.
As soon as Lola met Renee’s gaze, the space between them charged with electricity—Renee reached for Lola and in the same instant, Lola moved into her arms, as if she belonged there, as if she’d always been there. Her hands went to Renee’s waist, her head tilted up, waiting. Renee drew her closer, and kissed her.
For all the times Renee had wanted to kiss Lola in the last weeks, she tried not to rush now. It was so gentle at first. Lola’s lips were smooth, her skin cold and breath steaming in the night, Renee’s eyelashes brushing hers. Renee cupped her cheek, her fingers finding their way into her soft hair. It wasn’t anything like how they’d kissed in that hotel room, brash and a little frantic. This was precious—a delicate thing built of every moment of these last weeks—every casual touch that meant more, every private laugh, every vulnerable moment they’d shared. And more than that—of ten years apart, and all the shit they’d borne witness to for each other before that.
Renee couldn’t believe that all of that had brought them to this moment. She tugged Lola harder against her and parted her lips with her tongue, so she could take Lola’s lower lip into her mouth and suck. She tasted like sweet relief and hunger all at once.
Lola moaned, pressing her nose into Renee’s cheek as she deepened the kiss. Her hands snaked into Renee’s coat, then under the back of her shirt, her touch deliciously cool against Renee’s hot skin. Her fingertips bit into the flesh of Renee’s back, pulling her closer, closer. They couldn’t be touching any more than they were with their coats on, but Lola wanted more.
Wanted this.
Wanted her.
The thought threatened to overwhelm Renee, as Lola rose up on her toes to slide her tongue into Renee’s mouth.
A gust of wind rolled off the lake, buffeting them with freezing air. Lola seized up. Renee broke away, resting her forehead against Lola’s. They were both panting, lips swollen, and Renee would have bet money that Lola was on fire, exactly like she was, even if her skin was freezing.
“Inside?” Renee asked.
“Yeah.” Lola’s voice sounded raw.
But Lola didn’t move. With Lola’s breath warm against her mouth, Renee didn’t want to move either.
“Fuck,” Renee breathed.
“Yeah,” Lola said again.
RENEE FUMBLED WITHthe house key, so jittery was she from Lola’s nearness. Finally inside, Renee rambled, excusing her mom’s cheesy lake house decor and apologizing that the heat wasn’t on and warning of the ladybug infestation. For all the girls she’d been with, Renee wasn’t used to being nervous.
It was hot as hell.
Lola hardly said anything at all. Her quiet wasn’t awkward or avoidant. It felt more like an agreement: the moment on the deck was banked like a fire, to allow them to do all the little things that needed doing in the empty house.
Then all at once, the two of them were facing each other in the harsh light of the kitchen.
“I—”
“Are you—”
Lola reached for Renee’s hands and ran her thumbs over her knuckles. The rich darkness of her eyes, an abyss Renee could vanishinto. Maybe she already had. Her heartbeat fluttered as Lola’s gaze shifted from her lips to her eyes, and back again.
Suddenly Lola let out a laugh. “How areyouthe nervous one?”
