Page 8 of Scarred Mountain Man
He hands me a bag, I look up, trying to understand if he’s mad about cooking me food. But when my eyes meet his I cower and look down immediately.
“You’ve been taking care of me since last night.”
“I don’t mind. Go eat up, the food it’s still warm.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll eat when I get back.”
“Why didn’t you bring your food?”
Why do I sound this needy? I’ve never needed anyone. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a child. And now here I am asking him to stay. When he clearly doesn’t want to be here. There’s something about the way he’s standing so close to the door that tells me that. And yet, I still asked the question.
“I thought you’d be busy. And I’ve got a lot to do too.”
“Right. Thank you.”
“But we could eat together if you want to,” he says softly, like he’s as unsure as I am.
My silence must be the answer he needs because he leaves and comes back shortly after, giving me time to set up the dinner table in the meantime. When he sits down, it only emphasizes his size even more, he occupies almost half of the tiny dinner table. This cabin is not as big as his and everything seems to be small compared to him.
When I taste the food, I can’t help but moan. I could eat this every day. Oliver tenses up, like he’s embarrassed by my delight. There are so many bad things in the world, why should we refrain ourselves from the good ones?
“It’s really good. Have you always been this good a cook?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Not really. But Aiden is a pretty good cook, so he’s taught me a few things.”
“So my landlord is both grumpy and a good cook, well I hope I meet him someday.”
He gives me that small smirk of his that tells me he’s enjoying the conversation.
“Doubt it. But you should ask for your money back.”
“I think I’m good. Like I told you, now that I know how to light up the fireplace, I don’t see a reason for me to stay over at your place. Especially when you’re sleeping on the sofa.”
“I told you. You’re staying.”
I huff but don’t reply. I take a few delicious bites off my food while I figure out if food will ever taste this good after I've eaten a few meals prepared by him. Even the mushroom cheese toast was delicious.
“Why do you paint?” he asks after a while.
I like his question, not many people ask me that, not as a way to start a conversation, I like he goes straight to the point. He doesn’t ask me what I do with my paintings, if I sell them, if I store them. No, he’s asking me why.
“Painting has always been my escape. Well, not really. Drawing came first. You don’t need much money to draw, you know? All you need is a pencil and a piece of paper. So as long as I had those two I was good. I loved to draw. But when I found paint, that’s when I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. For me, painting provides me a freedom that drawing can’t. I find it hard to explain but I can lose myself in a painting, when I’m drawing I can’t ever reach the flow state, it feels less natural. Eventually I found my style and ever since then, I’ve been able to live off my art. It feels wonderful but I also need some quiet time after shows. Quiet time where I’m just creating, not thinking about anything else, making art just for me.”
“You must be good.”
I blush. “I do well for myself but lately it has been hard to create. This morning is the first time in a while that I’ve been this inspired. Maybe it was the rain.”
“The rain,” he mutters mostly to himself.
“Last night, you told me you hated it. Why?”
“I’m a fucking cliché.”
For a moment, I think he won’t elaborate. Leave the question hanging as we finish up the plates. But he plays around with the food before words leave his mouth.
“My best friend died when it was raining like yesterday. That’s why I had the nightmare. It’s been years, but it still haunts me. We were in the military together, he was so much more deserving of life than me and yet, I’m the one who lived. I should’ve protected him. I should’ve made sure he got home safe. But the last time I saw him, it was too late, he was barely breathing. He still smiled, that dumbass. I can’t believe he smiled.”
