Page 69 of Rock Out Together
Until now, I’d been perfectly content with the trajectory of my life.
Today, though, a tiny bit of anxiety crept up inside me as I sat here listening to roll call. I’d already weathered all the usual BS I’d expected dating Jason. I was considered one of the preppy students, even though I never hung out with most of those kids. The only person I hung out with was Emma. Still, my parents’ social standing and connections had put me firmly in that clique. It didn’t hurt that my dad was considered a whiz of a financial advisor, having grown the wealth of the parents of most of the kids I was associated with, whether I liked it or not.
Jason wasn’t necessarily in a clique—but he was part of a group of middle- and lower-class kids that the students in my social strata didn’t usually mix with. And, although there had been whispers at prom and during the days leading up to the end of the school year, no one had come up to me directly to give me grief.
And, unfettered, my romance with Jason had blossomed. My parents had fought over the prom date but I overheard my mother whispering to my dad that “our daughter needs to go to prom at least once, regardless of who her date is.” It wasn’t until July that my father had asked why I was still “carrying on with that no-good boy.”
I’dalsoheard my mother whisper shortly before school started that it was just a fling. “Let it die out on its own.”
Thatwas my apprehension…because I feared it would. Not because of Jason and not even because of me.
But because of circumstances.
I had already started working with a college consultant who was helping me craft my resume, and I’d emailed teachers about writing letters of recommendation for me over the summer. Although my future wasn’t yet set in stone, it was close.
It had been the moment my parents had been focused on since I’d exited my mother’s womb.
And how would my relationship with Jason survive when I would likely be going to either an Ivy League school—or one considered just as good—out of state somewhere and Jason would stay here in our hometown of Pueblo, Colorado? We hadn’t talked much about the future and, as I sat at the desk in English getting ready to pay attention to Mr. Crawford, I understood now that we’d been avoiding that conversation.
Were we avoiding it because that conversation could ruin everything we had?
That night after eating dinner, I drove to Mark’s house, a friend of Jason’s and one of his bandmates, knowing that was where I’d find my boyfriend. Although my parents had shown disapproval that I still wanted to spend time with him even though school was back in session, they’d let me go when I told them my homework was done. Despite my slight shift in priorities since last year, I still wanted to be accepted by a good university and succeed in my future career. Soeven though I planned to make plenty of time for Jason, my eyes were still “on the prize.”
I hoped that would be enough for my parents.
Eager and excited, I couldn’t wait to see him. Although his band, called Pretty Little Lies, had been practicing all summer long, I was looking forward to seeing them play for a crowd. Tonight they were practicing again, but they were getting ready to play at a party on Friday night—a back-to-school gathering, like rambunctious, for Walker Adams, one of the richest kids in school. His parents were out of state on vacation somewhere and he decided to hold an “epic party” that the senior class would remember long after we graduated.
It was the kind of party I ordinarily would have avoided…but Jason would be there banging on his drums, his band making music, and I planned to take my usual place where I could catch his eye. It didn’t hurt that Emma had promised to come along.
I parked in front of Mark’s house, a humble but nice home. Just Mark and his mom lived there and she wasn’t always around, because she worked the swing shift at one of the Department of Corrections facilities in Cañon City, less than an hour from Pueblo. From what I could see, Mark’s mother loved him and took as good a care of him as she could, considering her schedule. And it worked out, because the band was always done practicing long before she’d arrive home.
I didn’t even have to knock on the door, because Jason opened it as I got close. “There’s my babe,” he said, dimplesappearing in his cheeks. But it wasn’t the dimples that made him so irresistible—it was everything about him, the entire experience, that made him attractive. And the more time we spent together, the more enamored of him I grew.
As he pulled me into his arms, he kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in years. Although I had nothing to compare it to, I knew instinctively that Jason was a good kisser, from the way our tongues danced together to the way his hands were always in the exact right place, whether on my back or in my hair—and he tasted delicious. Slightly salty, a little earthy, and a bit sweet. I could have kissed him for hours…and we’d done just that in days and weeks past.
I couldn’t get enough.
“Get a room, guys,” Mark said behind us in the living room.
Ending the kiss, Jason looked in my eyes as if he could see the stars in them and then winked. Turning, he said, “You offering yours?”
Their other band buddies—Jimmy and Kage—started snickering and laughing as heat rose up my neck. I had nothing against any of these guys but I often felt out of place with them. Their humor was far more raucous and rougher around the edges than I was used to.
But Jason took my hand in his and squeezed it. “Don’t be jealous, guys. The right girl will come around for you. You just gotta stop bein’ dicks long enough for them to look at you.”
“Speak for yourself,” Kage said, a dark-haired boy whose eyes couldn’t hide that the past hadn’t been kind to him. I’dhardly heard him say five sentences over the summer, but maybe he was getting more used to my presence.
“Jesus,” Jimmy said, flicking his head so the longish tuft of blond hair in his eyes moved to the side. “Don’t tell me you and Fay got back together.”
Jason whispered in my ear. “Drama.”
Pursing my lips together, I glanced at him, stifling a giggle. When he squeezed my hand again, it was as if he was telling me that the two of us were above all this childish nonsense.
As I squeezed back, Kage said, “We worked our shit out. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong,” Jimmy said, standing and picking up his guitar case, “is that she leads you around by your balls, dude.”
“You’re just jealous ‘cause no one wants to even touchyourballs.”
