Page 78 of Rock Out Together
Emma knew just as well as I did what my parents’ plans for me were and they didnotinclude a school in Colorado. I’d been hearing that since the eighth grade. “Holy shit. Did you tell your parents?”
“No. But I didn’t even tell Jason.”
“Why the hell not?” Emma was again shaking her head, seeming flabbergasted.
“I don’t want to influence any decisions he might make.”
Now Emma was laughing—and quite heartily. “He’s already made his decisions, Al. He’s planning to play in the band from now until they make it big.” Lowering her voice as if she might curse the future, she added, “Or fail. But I don’t think that changes how he feels about you. I mean…what if youdidget into Harvard? Why couldn’t you guys still date? It’s not like no one’s ever done that before.”
“Yeah, but—what would stop him from wanting to be with someone else? If I’m gone, like, three or four months at a time?—”
“That’swhy you need totalkabout it, girl. And if not, just let it go. Live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is.” It was then that I could tell she was as frustrated with me as I was with her. So I simply nodded my head and then swamto the deep end and back. By the time I returned, Emma had moved to one side of the pool, reclining with her arms over the edge, letting her legs float up in the water. When I joined her again, she asked, “So are you gonna sleep with him?”
“I really want to.”
“Did you go to Public Health like I told you?”
“Yes. I just started the pill two weeks ago.”
Emma let out a long breath. “Perfect.”
“I have condoms too, but I’m afraid of my parents finding all this stuff. I hid the condoms under the driver’s seat in my car. And the pills I keep in my underwear drawer.”
“That’s all you can do. And you’re almost a full-fledged adult, Al. They should know that having sex is the next logical step when you get serious with someone.”
Like Emma, I relaxed against the pool wall, spreading my arms to grip the side. It wasn’t long before my legs became almost weightless, floating out in front of me in the clear water. “Yeah, but they don’t want that. They don’t want Jason for me.”
“Whodothey want for you? I’d say no one. They barely tolerate you having me as your friend.”
“That’s not true,” I said, a knee-jerk response.
When Emma said, “It issotrue,” I was echoing her by admitting, “I guess itis.” And that set her to giggling again.
“I know you’re afraid, girl,” she said, “but I say you go for it. Having sex the first time isn’t fun anyway, so get it over with. That might be what it takes to get him to say theLword.”
“I heard you saysex!” Eddie squealed, having appeared behind us without either of us noticing.
“I dare you to tell mom and dad. I’ll deny it—and I have a witness and you don’t.” But Emma was also swimming toward the steps at the shallow end, ready to physically intimidate her brother.
Meanwhile, I was mulling it all over. Should I stop being afraid and give all of myself to Jason? Maybe Emma was right. Maybe I just needed to get it over with.
I had a lot to ponder.
That Monday at school, Jason caught me before classes started. But instead of hanging out with his band friends near the parking lot before first bell like we always did, he took me by the hand and led me inside.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” There was a flash in his eyes that hid some secret—and made me eager to find out. Soon, we were heading toward his locker, and I was more curious than ever. When we got there, he unlocked it—but he didn’t open it. Instead, he looked at me and took my hands in his again. “Do you remember what you said last month?”
Smiling, I shrugged. “I said a lot of things.”
“Yeah…but one thing you said was that you didn’t have any good pictures of us.”
Oh, yeah. Ihadsaid that.
While I nodded slowly, he opened his locker and pulledout a manila envelope. “I had the guys take pictures of us when you weren’t looking—and I also had the two selfies you sent to me that you took.” When I opened the envelope, I saw half a dozen printed photos. The one on top was one of Jason and I in an embrace, staring into each other’s eyes. “So maybe when you’re in your dorm room next year, you’ll have a few memories of us that you can hang on your wall.”
“Oh, my God.” Such a seemingly small gesture, and yet it meant so much.
