Page 72 of Rock Out Together
But I hadn’t stopped there. Boulder was close to the mountains, which meant I’d probably be surrounded by people who loved Colorado and the adventure it had to offer. Harvard was practically a world away, and I imagined it had much older buildings and ivy-covered walls. Would I even fit in there?
Would it change me?
Any sane person would know what a strain that choicecould put on a relationship. If I chose Harvard, I wouldn’t be able to come home every weekend or even every month. And even though I liked New England, I didn’t want to live there for all the years it would take for me to get through school knowing Jason was so far away.
We’d talked vaguely about what would happen after graduation. He was hoping to make it big with the band. Even though they might wind up traveling, Pueblo would continue to be their home base.
So was I worrying too much about it? We had a whole school year to?—
“Allie, your mother asked you a question.”
Oh, crap. I’dreallytuned them out. “Sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked what your plans were for the evening.”
We all knewtheyalready knew exactly what my plans were—but maybe they were hoping I’d change my mind. “I’m going to hang out with Jason.”
“What’s the homework situation?” my dad asked, cutting another piece of steak.
“It’s done.”
“Are you rushing through it?”
“No. I’m doing good work.” Refraining from letting out a frustrated sigh, I shut my mouth. I was a senior in high school, on the verge of becoming an adult. They wanted me to act like one but then they didn’t trust that I was.
“Honey,” my mom said, and at first, I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or my dad—but then I realized it wasn’tdirected at me. “She’s never given us a reason to not trust that she’s doing her best work.”
“Yes, but she didn’t have her head in the clouds like she does now.”
I’m right here!Why was he talking to my mother as if I weren’t in the room?
Then my mother did the same damn thing. “She’s never been in love before.”
I let go of my fork so it dropped on the plate, making a loud rattling noise—forcing them both to look at me. Then I threw back that tired phrase they’d always pushed on me. “My eye is on the prize, okay? I’m still working hard to graduate with honors.”
“Valedictorian,” my father said as if underscoring what I’d just said.
“Yes, but?—”
“Nobuts. If you let yourself believe the competition’s too fierce and you’ll be happy settling, then you won’t give it your best shot.”
He was impossible—and I didn’t want to argue. We’d been over this same topic a million times. So I simply nodded, grateful that he was at least talkingtome again.
“You’re our good girl,” my mom said, “and I know you’re doing your best. Just…try not to get too serious about Jason.”
Oh…too late. I was already enamored of the boy. No, more than enamored. I was completely in love and surprised my mother hadn’t seen it on my face.
Or maybe she had and that was why she was bringing it up.
When she called me hergood girl, she was reminding me that, until Jason, I’d blindly followed their every wish, wanting tobethe daughter they wanted. I’d strived to make them proud, to excel in everything I did—and they’d rewarded me with praise and affection. Although I didn’t believe they’d withdraw it if I made a misstep…I did know they’d be disappointed if they knew where my head was today.
Applying for acceptance at CU was one of those actions that might be viewed as a mistake by them, so I wasn’t going to say a word about it until I knew for certain what I wanted to do. But my heart felt much like the knot on a tug-of-war rope, torn between the need to make my parents happy and my own personal wishes.
I had to figure out a way to make those two needs meet in the middle—and acceptance at CU-Boulder was key.
“Allie? Are you going to answer your mother?”
“I’m sorry. What?”
