Page 93 of The Billionaire's Bride
"And you came to me to confess, because you knew I was one of the Seven?" I scoff.
He stills, then nods again.
This doesn't make sense. I stare at him, hard. "I still don’t understand why you came to see me. Clearly, you wanted me to lose control. You knew there was a good probability I'd react exactly the way I did with you... Unless..." I roll my shoulders. "Unless you guessed that I was at the end of my tether. You knew I was falling for Ava and conflicted about how to balance my feelings for her with my calling."
He tilts his head.
"You were hoping that your revelations would push me over the edge, that it would make me do something that I would regret enough to leave the priesthood? That it would nudge me toward her?"
His lips twitch and anger curls in my chest. My blood hums and my pulse rate ratchets up. I step toward him. "Or were you hoping to get exactly the kind of reaction you got from me, where I almost killed you? Did you hope to die in church at the hands of a man of God as a way of repenting for your sins?"
Asshole stays quiet. He doesn’t even blink.
"Answer me, you motherfucker," I bark. "What kind of game were you playing when you came to see me?"
His jaw hardens but he doesn't say a word. Bloody-fucking-hell. I clench my fists at my sides.
He’d better start speaking, or else, Saint will have to get in line behind me. Strange how, once you go down the path of sin… Each progressive one becomes simpler, easier, faster until you forget the true nature of your actions, until everything is tainted by the same brush, until… To err becomes a part of you…and then you walk the line between light and dark, knowing you’ll always be a shade of grey. It’s only the intensity of that in-between color which changes… And well, that doesn’t count for much. It’s still grey.
"You have one minute," Baron growls, "sixty seconds before I step away and let these guys beat it out of you…" he shrugs, "so what’s it going to be?"
Anton glances around the room, then back at Baron. He tips up his chin and Baron places his ear next to Anton’s mouth again. Anton’s lips move. Baron’s features grow stonier. He shoves back his chair and heads for the door. I follow him.
"We’re coming with you." Sinner pushes away from the wall.
"No." We both say in unison. I nod, then Baron turns to glance at the guys.
"This one’s ours."
31
"My happiest moments are in a car. Looking out the window, the music on full blast, without a care in the world. I just like watching the world go by. I get this overwhelming feeling as I pass fields upon fields or people upon people. It’s like I’m in a film. And then, that perfect song comes on and the sun shines and it’s pure happiness."
-From Ava's Diary
Ava
My head pounds and my mouth is so dry. I swallow and my throat hurts. I try to move and my shoulder screams. I try to open my eyes, only to find my eyelids are glued together. I pry them apart, and stars burst behind my eyes. I groan, and the sound echoes around the space. Where am I? What the hell happened? I remember being in the car... The deer... I’d veered off the road. I remember the headlights of the car lighting up the tree and then… Nothing. Shit, I must have crashed. So how did I get here? I try to move, find my arms are bound behind me. I glance down to find my legs are tied to the legs of the chair that I am seated on. What the hell?
My heart begins to race. Had they found me? The men who had assaulted me, then broken into the studio... Had they finally gotten to me? It must have been them who chased me on the highway. And I’d thought it was my guys. Shit, if only it had been Baron and Edward who had been after me. I never should have left the house…but they hadn’t included me in their decisions and I had been so mad. Shit, had they realized that I was gone? Would they come in search of me? Of course, they would, but how quickly could they find me?
A bead of sweat slides down my back.
I glance around the space, taking in the rest of the room. High ceilings, walls which must have been white at one point but which are now a faded gray. Near the doorway there's a pile of cloth—looks like faded carpet. Had someone bought the material with the hope of doing up this room, then abandoned it? A ray of sunlight filters in through the only window, and motes of dust dance in its path. I stare at them, watch as they are highlighted by the sunshine, only to disappear.
Shit, life really is fleeting. Time doesn’t wait for anyone. It hadn’t for my mother. She's gone, and we are left grappling in the aftermath. A family broken and grieving for her, yet unable to come together to comfort each other. My father had done the right thing. He’d moved on, not from my mother, but from wallowing in self-pity. He’ll never forget her and he’s chosen to honor her memory by living.
And me? I am still stuck there—in my head, a girl without a mother, someone who misses her so much, and yet, has refused to spend time with her family. I’ve rebuffed my sister at every turn, not wanting to comfort her or let myself be comforted. I’ve allowed my selfishness to override everything else. I’ve clung to my grief, nurtured it, not allowed anyone or anything to touch it. I’ve held it close, reveled in it, thinking as long as I had it, I had a connection with my mother. I am still holding onto the memory of how it was to be with her. As long as I house that grief in me… At least, I have some last vestige of connection to her physically… I haven’t wanted to move on and I have blamed my family for dealing with it, for coming to terms with it, for wanting to honor her memory by staying in the present. Me… I am still stuck there…with her…the memory of the last breath that she took.
And then, when I had been so attracted to both of them, it had only pushed me to withdraw into myself. No wonder I hadn’t been able to make sense of my feelings for both of them. No wonder I hadn’t been able to choose. How could I, when so much of me was still trapped in coming to terms with the grief in my life? The grief I am ready to relinquish.
No, I won’t forget my mother…but... I am ready to live for her… Ready to make her proud of me. To fulfill my potential completely, to let my true nature shine in everything I do. Whether it is dancing…or love. I am going to give it my all… I am finally ready to make my choice. I know what I want. I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and no asshole kidnappers are going to come between me and the kind of life I have always wanted.
Heat presses down on my shoulders and sweat beads my forehead. Why is it so hot? Did they crank up the heating in here? I glance outside at the sun shining through the window, the warmth amplified by the glass panes. Where are Baron and Edward? Do they know where to look? If they don’t find me… No, they will. They are smart. More than smart, they are tenacious. They’ll track me down. They wouldn’t let anything happen to me.
My palms sweat. I tug on the ropes that restrain my hands, but it only seems to tighten them further. Shit, whoever tied me up knew what they were doing. I force myself to relax my muscles, blinking away the sweat that drips into my eyes. Why the hell is it like a sauna in here?
A low vibration hums through the space and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. Shit, what was that? What the hell is happening? I strain my ears, close my eyes, and try to focus in on the sounds. The scent of smoke reaches me. I cough, snap open my eyes. Is someone smoking out there? The scent of burning intensifies. Bloody hell, is the house on fire? My heart begins to race. "Help," I yell, "Help me!"
