Page 32 of Save Me
We all stand, a motley crew of people who love him in different ways. The doctor looks a little confused by our numbers, but doesn't comment.
"I'm Dr. Martinez," he says. "Gunner came through the surgery beautifully. The fracture was more complex than we initially thought, but we were able to repair it with plates and screws. He should have full function of his arm once it heals."
The relief is so intense it makes me dizzy. "Is he awake?"
"He's just starting to come around from the anesthesia. He's been asking for Amy." The doctor looks around our group. "Is Amy here?"
"That's me," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
Dr. Martinez smiles. "He's been asking for you every time he's woken up. We can only allow one visitor at a time while he's in recovery, but you're welcome to see him now if you'd like."
I look around at the others. Trish nods encouragingly. "Go," she says. "We'll be right here."
The recovery room is quiet except for the soft beeping of monitors. Gunner looks so different lying in the hospital bed, his usual larger-than-life presence diminished by the tubes and wires. His left arm is in a cast from his wrist to his elbow, and there's a bandage on his forehead that I hadn't heard about.
But his eyes are open, and when he sees me, his face breaks into that crooked grin that makes my heart skip.
"Hey, beautiful," he says, his voice rough from the anesthesia.
I move to his bedside, not caring about the tears streaming down my face. "Hey yourself. You scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry about that." He reaches for me with his good hand, and I take it, marveling at how warm and solid and alive he feels. "But I had to make sure you'd come see me in the hospital. Seemed like the most efficient way."
"That's not funny," I say, but I'm laughing through my tears.
"Rosa okay?"
"She's fine. She's home with Eve."
His eyes soften. "Good, I didn't want her to see me like this."
"Gunner," I say, suddenly desperate to get the words out while I can. "I need to tell you something."
"Amy—"
"No, let me say this. Please. I thought I might not get the chance, and I can't... I can't keep pretending that what we have isn't real. I can't keep pretending that I don't..." I take a shaky breath. "I love you. I love you so much it terrifies me, but I love you. And Rosa loves you. And I don't want to waste any more time being scared of what might happen instead of enjoying what we have right now."
Gunner's eyes never leave mine as I speak, and when I finish, he tugs gently on my hand until I lean down close enough for him to cup my face with his palm.
"I love you too," he whispers against my lips.
When we break apart, I rest my forehead against his. "So what happens now?"
"Now we stop pretending this isn't something real," he says. "Now we figure out how to build a life together. You and me and Rosa."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
I sit with him until visiting hours are over, our fingers intertwined, talking about everything and nothing.
When I finally leave, promising to come back first thing in the morning, I feel different. Lighter. Like I've finally stopped holding my breath and started living again.
In the parking lot, Trish is waiting by my car.
"How is he?" she asks.
"Good," I say, and mean it. "Really good."
