Page 55 of Broken Play
Holding my hands in the air, I say, "Whoa. You need to check yourself. Tell me what happened."
"Don't start with the big brother act. It's too late."
His words hit me harder than I expect. For a second, my mouth hangs half open, as if I've got something to say, but I can't. It's a gut punch as guilt sets in. He's right; I've missed more of his life than I want to admit. Football always seemed like the most important thing in my life, and I'm realizing that shouldn't have been the case. But it's not my fault that I'm so much older than he is. I flew him and his friends to Denver last year. What is my fault is not calling him just to chat and pester him.
Still, I try to catch his eye and force a crooked smile. "It's never too late to nag. Dad and J.D. should win an Olympic medal for it," I say, shrugging like it doesn't sting. "Just tell me why you're in Texas when school and hockey just started. You can swear me to secrecy. Whatever is going on, I'll help you."
He walks out of his bedroom and scampers down the stairs. "Parker, stop. Do you want to go riding?"
He stalls at the front door. "I just don't want to talk about it."
"Dad will realize you're home, so do you want to practice your story on me? J.D. and I used to do that all the time."
He sighs and says, "My teammate screwed my girlfriend."
Slowly, the puzzle pieces come together. He's brokenhearted, something I only know a little about. The time Sutton said kissing me was a mistake—that stung. The thought causes me to wonder how I would react now ifSutton broke it off with me after we'd been intimate. Instantly, I know I would be devastated.
"That sucks."
"I tried to forgive her, but I couldn't. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was her fucking him."
His eyes fill with water, and his whole face is tight. "Parker, the best way to get over a betrayal is to do it better somewhere else or with someone else. Like Vegas betraying J.D.—we went there and beat their ass. You don't treat an O'Ryan like they're old meat. We're the best damn meat in Texas." A booming laugh comes from deep within.
Parker finally cracks a smile. "You're embarrassing. J.D. would never say that."
"Nope, he wouldn't. We all play a role in the family, and my job is to loosen J.D. up." He gives me an airy laugh. "Are you still thinking about playing football? I'm sure Dad would love to have you on his team. You may not be able to walk on since they're two games into the season. And if you can't, then you can come to the Armadillos' practice and work with us. I can ask Sutton tonight..."
"Slow down, bro. You already have me playing professional football. I want to go to college and have fun. Maybe join a fraternity. What fraternity were you and J.D. in?"
"Beta Theta Pi. But rush is before school starts, so again, you would have to wait. Any chance of going back to U-Mich?"
With a barely noticeable head shake, he says, "No, I withdrew. My scholarship is gone."
"Don't worry about tuition. I've got no one to spend my money on, and I can't think of a better way to spend it than on my little brother. Do you want me here when you tellDad? I just came over to grab a couple of horses and take them to my farm."
He grins. "You're so lonely that horses will make you feel better?" I shrug. "That's so lame. You're one of the highest-paid athletes in America, and you want to spend your nights with a horse. So lame. You should be..."
"Already been there, done that. It's not all it's cracked up to be."
"Says the man who has never had a real girlfriend." He thinks about what he just said and then yells, "Yes! I'm better at getting girlfriends than you."
"Do you want to go to the barn and help me hook up the trailer and load the horses?"
He doesn't answer but follows me to help load Pickles and Pinky into the horse trailer. I don't know why I do this, but I invite Parker to my house to ride.
"I need to stay and talk to Dad. He usually gets home around six. Can I ask you one more thing?"
"Sure."
"What would Mom say to me if she were here?"
When I smile, a puff of air escapes my lips. "That's easy. She would say to follow your heart. You know she never pushed J.D. or me. She just wanted us to do what we loved, and that was football. But she would also say you need to be your own person, so if you don't love football, don't do it, because it can take your life away. One moment you're twenty-three playing on the field, and the next day you're in your thirties, and the only love in your life is an oblong-shaped brown leather ball."
THIRTY
SUTTON
"You're late. Do you realize I've been hiding behind a bush?" I ask as he climbs out of his big-ass truck and grabs me in his arms, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. It doesn't sizzle with need like most of the other times. Instead, I feel happiness hiding behind his lips.
