Page 21 of Tower
I can’t immediately recognize it, but I think about it as I roll out my mat on the packed dirt and half-dead grass.
As I stand in Mountain Pose to begin, I decide the expression conveyed the most intense rush of relief I’ve ever seen on a human face.
Because Hawk’s presence makes me feel safe and it feels good to move and breathe the morning air—even if that air is kind of gritty—I do an hour-long routine. I’ve got fifteen minutes left of it when I hear a familiar, happy squeal.
Becca.
She’s seen me and runs over to give me a hug. “I’m so glad to see you! I’ve been worried about you!”
Hugging her back with a real smile, I tell her, “I’m okay. Just had a minor breakdown.”
“All of us do eventually.” She pulls back, beaming and tanner than I remember. “Boss wouldn’t answer anyone’s questions about you, so no one knew exactly what was going on. Jen said she thought it was probably coming to terms with losing your dad and everything, but I kept imagining all kinds of scary things.”
I laugh softly. “Jen was right. But I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.”
She hugs me again. “I know you will. Maybe we can do our nails this afternoon… if you want, I mean. If you’re not busy.”
“I’m not busy. I’d love that.”
“You should’ve told me you do yoga. I’ve always wanted to try it. Do you mind if I…”
“You can join me anytime you want. Here, you can finish up my routine with me if you want.”
Becca is excited, and I scale back my regular poses to instead do moves she’ll be able to manage. Even Hawk joins in on some of the arm stretches from his lawn chair.
I feel better than I have in ages as I wash up and get dressed in regular clothes afterward.
The weight of grief is still in my chest for my dad. For everyone I’ve lost. But maybe there are other things I can feel too.
7
A week later,Levi returns to our room earlier than normal because all he had today was a meeting with the Mayor.
It’s barely midafternoon when he’s knocking on the door.
I’ve been reading on the couch, but I jump up to let him in. I know it’s him because he calls through the door like normal, “It’s me, girl.”
“The meeting didn’t take long,” I say, moving out of the way to let him in.
“Nah, it usually doesn’t. The man is a pompous ass, but he knows his shit with administration.”
“That’s what Dad always said. That no one really likes him, but he can do all the stuff necessary for us to survive and the town to run better than anyone else.”
“That’s it exactly. You doin’ okay today?”
“Yeah. I’m feeling better. Sorry about?—”
“Don’t even start,” he interrupts in a grumpy mutter.
“Okay. But still. I’m better now. Do you have more you need to do this afternoon, or can you take it easy?”
“I got nothin’ else. But if you wanna be alone, I can?—”
“No!” Self-conscious about the abrupt declaration, I temper it as I add, “I’ve been alone plenty. I know it’s safer for me up here, and I know I asked for it a week or two ago, but being locked in a tower isn’t exactly… good times.”
We’re still standing near the door, facing each other. His brows pull together in the way they do when he’s thinking something through. “You don’t gotta stay up here all the time if you don’t want. I don’t think it’s safe for you to just run around alone, but we can figure somethin’ out like we did for your mornin’ yoga.”
“Really?”
