Page 22 of Driven By Dragonblood
Eventually, my so-called friends from down in Phoenix had stopped reaching out to me, and since the group was nothing but a further opportunity to get into trouble, I erased their contact info as well.
As for Mom and Dad—neither had texted nor called. Not even to inquire about my plans now that I’d been released.
Why the fuck did stabbing pain knife through my chest? I didn’twantthem in my life.
Jaw clenched, I checked the bus schedule, accepted my coffee from the barista, and exited the building.
My gaze wandered to the fence once more. No one stood watching my window.
Unable to accept I had imagined every second of last night, I told myself I would catch a ride back to Lockwood after dark.
She would be here—I had nothing to fear. Returning for a chance at feeling the energy I did from Doctor Macaire only added to my determination. Every step away from the hospital took me farther from the memory of the connection I’d experienced with him as well, and before I’d gone two blocks toward the bus station, it shimmered away from mymind, like a springtime breeze, forever breathing life into my soul—and yet tearing apart the beast inside me.
Go back to him.
“Not fucking happening,” I muttered, even though I longed to beg Doc Macaire to take me, claim me in every way a dominant could. Becoming involved with a shrink, however hot, couldn’t be good for my newfound freedom. Closeness would bring a desire for truth between us if my inner voice’s whispered words of claiming and submission were true.
The beast would reveal himself, prove my madness even though I would insist I was sane as fuck.
I would land behind lock and key again, deemed insane and a threat to my own safety.
Which, yeah, that last part I could see—but as long as I avoided substances that weakened my resolve, I would be fine.
I sulked through the hour ride to the larger town in the south, and no flicker of energy furrowed my brow as the assurance I left behind something extremely important once more twisted my stomach.
I walked the few blocks to my apartment Doc Holiday had helped me contract for the next year, my mind focused on the hope of findingher, and my feet dragged with despair like a pouting child over the loss ofhim.
The lease had already been signed, the deposit and first month’s rent paid. Key in hand, I climbed the exterior stairs to the studio apartment above my landlord’s garage. A small deck offered me a place to relax while watching future sunsets, something I’d often enjoyed when not locked up in a sterile room like a lunatic.
While the place was small, it offered me more than my parents’ large home ever had—freedom of choice to be me.
Fly.
“No fucking way, dude,” I muttered out loud now that there was no one to see me talking to myself. “I don’t want to end up back in Lockwood—don’t care how hot that doctor with the sexy whiskers and longer hair is.”
The memory of the man stiffened my cock, and I groaned while dropping my bag to the floor and taking a look around. A queen-sized bed, a small, round kitchen table, fridge, stove, loveseat, and old TV awaited me. Not much, exactly as Doc Holliday had said, but more than enough.
Rent included all utilities, cable, too, and I sprawled on the too-small couch, clicked on the TV, and watched an hour of ESPN because I could.
I wanted a warm, willing woman, but not just any leggy blonde with big tits I could suck on, an ass I could pound into if she allowed. I longed for my golden goddess—and Doc Macaire. Patrick.
Yessss.
To be between them, him fucking me while I fucked her, our bodies in synchronized motion. Of one mind, of one soul, our hearts beating in time, our climaxes rippling through the energy connecting us, soaring us to the stars.
I’d never known such thought-consuming need.
Fly.
Go find her.
Teeth clenched against the itch in my shoulder blades, I chose, instead, to take a hot shower and jerk off with a fierceness I didn’t understand. My balls refused to erupt until I squeezed them to the point of pain, the memory of Patrick’s face, his dark blue eyes shadowed by those goddamned reading glasses, pushing me over the edge.
The quiet of the apartment ate at me, and even though I had no wish to return to the hospital, I missed the mingling people and Nurse Yum Yum. Those three months had passed she’d insisted on—but I didn’t get the sendoff I’d assumedshe’d meant. Instead, I received a stern talking-to about behaving and a handful of sweet caramels to remember her by.
The problem with freedom, I found within a couple of hours after leaving Lockwood, was a loneliness I was all too familiar with and hated with a passion.
Heaviness weighed on me, and I sat back down on the couch, brow furrowed and stomach once more like a rock. The beast inside me lay quiet, but I could feel its emotions reflecting my own.
