Page 122 of The Formation of Us
“Well, all those hugs he gives you would be gone if you lived with your first mother. He wouldn’t be there to catch you when you let go of the grape-vine swing in the gorge. You wouldn’t clean the livery with him, or ride horses together. He wouldn’t pull you into a wrestling match on the lawn with your brothers and tickle you.” He shrugged. “All the things he says to you, and all the things he does for you would be gone. You might not even know his name or what his voice sounds like.”
“That would be awful.” She pressed her hands to her stomach as if she felt sick. “Oh, Adam, I never really understood what it was like for you.”
“I didn’t know what it was like for you either,” he admitted. “That’s why I can’t see you like this anymore. It’s causing trouble for you. Your dad is the kind of father I wish I had, and you’re lucky to have him.”
“Why does that mean we can’t see each other?”
“I want Duke to be my dad, but he won’t want to be if I’m betraying his brother and sneaking off to see his niece.”
“But . . . we aren’t doing anything wrong.”
“Yes, we are. Just being here together goes against your father’s wishes. An honorable man wouldn’t do that. I don’t want to be like those men who came to my mom’s brothel. But when we’re alone like this, I feel. I want to do things like Patrick and Iris were doing.” He felt stupid confessing something so personal, but Duke wouldn’t take advantage of a girl or sneak around. Neither would Rebecca’s father. Adam wanted to be like them. He wanted to make Duke proud, and make him want to be his father. “I’m not going to do those things to you. I’m going to stay away like your dad asked.”
“You aren’t going to meet me anymore?”
He shook his head. “I’m not going to walk you to school either.” He couldn’t, because it would just tempt him to sneak off with her again.
Tears filled her eyes and she stared at him as if he’d just slapped her. “I thought you liked me.”
His feelings went way beyond liking, and that’s why he wouldn’t see her anymore and cause problems for her and her father. Rebecca needed her dad more than she needed Adam. “We’re cousins now. Rebecca.”
“No, we’re not!” she said. “We aren’t even related. You said that yourself.”
He wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry, but it would just hurt her more because he had to honor Duke and her father. “We can still be friends.”
She was crying as she slid off the boat. “I have friends, Adam. I don’t need another one.” She ducked beneath the limbs and out of sight, but he heard her crying as she ran up the path that led out of the gorge.
He knew he’d done the right thing, but it felt wrong.
Shivering, and feeling as miserable as he’d ever felt, Adam crawled under the boat. He wasn’t going home until the lawyer left tomorrow. The boat smelled of wood and fish and winter air, but it kept the wind off Adam’s neck. His stomach growled, but he burrowed in Duke’s too-big coat and closed his eyes. If he slept, he wouldn’t feel hungry. He wouldn’t feel cold. He wouldn’t hurt.
Minutes or hours passed; he didn’t know how long he huddled beneath the boat, but someone or something startled him awake. Maybe it was Duke, who cared enough to come looking for him. Maybe it was Rebecca coming to tempt him to change his mind.
Adam braced his shoulders against the hull and lifted the boat, but when he came face-to-face with Nicholas Archer, he knew he was in trouble.
Chapter 37
Duke knew Adam was upset, but when the boy didn’t return by lunchtime, he went looking for him. His first stop was Radford’s house, because Rebecca was Adam’s only friend. But when Radford realized Rebecca was missing, he jumped to conclusions and blamed Adam.
Duke helped Radford scour the gorge. They found Rebecca’s gelding tied to a tree, but they couldn’t find her anywhere.
“Where the hell could she be?” A sick look washed through Radford’s face, leaving him gray and drawn.
“We haven’t checked Mother’s house yet.”
Radford bolted for the trees. Duke sprinted behind him, his gut twisted with worry. Fueled by panic, they threw open the door and raced into their mother’s house, breathing hard, praying harder.
Rebecca sat on the sofa, sobbing her heart out on her grandmother’s shoulder.
“Thank God!” Radford knelt by the sofa. “Are you hurt, Rebecca?”
“She’s nursing a broken heart,” their mother said, stroking Rebecca’s disheveled hair.
“A what?” Radford looked as confused as Duke felt. “Where have you been, Rebecca?”
She cowered in her grandmother’s arms. “In the g-gorge.”
“Doing what?”
