Page 58 of The Curse of Eternity
We both stopped, our gazes met, and his soft smile made me laugh. Heat burned my face, my heart pounded, and Drake’s expression turned curious. Hell, he could probably see and hear it as easily as I felt it.
“What is it, Maria?” The way he spoke my name in his accent, with so much tenderness and respect, was mind melting. Thoughts scrambling, and trying to put them into order, I resisted the urge to make him say whathewas going to say first.
If I was going to get this out, I couldn’t wait.
“Why did you do it?” My voice came out small, so I cleared my throat. “You knew that saving me in that parking lot would damn you, too. I know you said—” I wasn’t sure I’d ever blushed so hard, remembering the one kiss we’d shared. Back when he’d called mebeautifully human. “That you’ve lived a long time. But we both know what you were going to do if I hadn’t stopped you. You would’ve sacrificed everything—forme, and I-I can’t figure out why.”
Drake watched me, his features thoughtful, and I was almost afraid of the answer. Because I had hope, but nothing was sure in this life. Being a descendant had taught me that. When hedidn’t respond, hadn’t even breathed—not that he needed to—I mumbled, “It was a death sentence for you, Drake.”
His eyes slowly closed, opening again only to stare into the flames before us. Whatever he was thinking turned out to be so far from what I’d expected.
“I have not always been a…pious man. Although I suppose one could reason that my devotion to Dracula had been my first system of beliefs. They taught us to revere him religiously as our savior. The one who would cull the weak from the strong. After we were taken from our homes, too young to remember anything else, that was how we were raised.”
He took a breath to speak, his gaze wandering as he continued, “Shortly before I was transformed into an ‘immortal,’ Helsing slayed the being we had grown to believe was impervious to deceit, impossible to destroy—and yet, he was. Order was soon restored among the higher ranks, and they debated on whether or not to transform the remaining recruits.
“In the end, they chose to bolster their numbers one final time, since we were already trained both body and mind to obey them. While those who had served for generations were much too far gone to reacclimate to the world of humans, those of us who were newly transformed were given greater freedom.
“Myself, included.” A sardonic smirk curved the corners of his mouth, like he tasted bitterness on his tongue. “It took longer than I would prefer to admit before I understood the truth. That Dracula had perverted our sense of humanity, convinced us that people were cattle for our consumption—pigs we dared not even roll in the mud with. With our abilities to charm, to remove the will of another and impose our own, it became too easy to pretend I was better than my victims.”
A chill seeped into my skin despite the blazing fire, crackling as it caught on another length of dry wood. I wasn’t stupid enough to think he’d never hurt anyone, not after everything I’dwitnessed. Hell, he hadn’t hesitated to rip apart the werewolves. Except, he’d only attacked the ones who’d tried to hurt me.
This whole time, I’d been at the center of his violent actions. How long had he lived in peace before walking into my life?
With my thoughts elsewhere, it took a second to realize Drake wasn’t going to continue. Vulnerable doubt crossed his features, in the pinch of his brow, the uncertainty behind his raven-dark eyes, and the hard set to his jaw. What he’d revealed could have ruined everything between us. I wouldn’t let it.
“But you changed,” I accused, as sure of it as I was sober.
“Eventually,” he admitted, somber, but honest. “Aiden helped me to find a better way. He assuaged my guilt once I came to terms with how much pain I had inflicted. He has lived many lifetimes more than me, seen worse than I could have dealt, and instructed that the only reparations I could make for my sins would be to continue surviving. Impart somegoodon the world, until it overshadows the evil.”
“Did it work?” I asked, and again Drake smiled without mirth.
“In a sense. The guilt did ease, as Aiden promised, yet I never felt that I had truly atoned. Not when I aided others, nor when I brought up Winston. A selfish act, really, because he became my reason—myexcuseto remain in a world where I no longer belonged. For so long, time has become meaningless. Years blurred into the next, and with every passing day, I wondered why I did not simply end it.”
His impassive tone struck me hard, awakening a twinge of sympathy that felt more like empathy. Whatever he’d endured under Dracula’s reign, and then in the years after that, must’ve been a cruel existence. One I couldn’t imagine. I’d always had my family, and even when things got rough, they were my reason to keep going.
Unshed tears blurred my vision, but I blinked them back when Drake noticed. Grateful emotion shone behind his gazewhile he swiped his thumb beneath my left eye. His light touch was warm from the fireside, and I exhaled a shaky breath.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, but Drake shook his head.
“Your kindness is beyond anything I deserve, Maria. It is gratifying that you can feel anything for one of my kind. After what you witnessed before the Cneaz?” Morose acceptance whirled behind his eyes, downcast with obvious regret. “We are monsters, and our monstrous acts are what maintain the illusion that we are above our victims. It is why they congregate in the way they do, and the reason I have been unable to stand being in their presence since before Winston was born.”
“You’re wrong if you think you don’t deserve how I feel about…you.” The words were out of my mouth before I could think too hard, and I hurried to gloss over my Freudian slip while averting my gaze from Drake’s obvious surprise. “You’ve saved my life, too many times for me to count at this point. I wouldn’t be alive right now without you.”
“Neither would I.”
Thinking I’d misunderstood, I looked up, and my breath caught at the intensity of his unwavering stare.
“For far too long, I have wanted to leave this world. Yearning to discover what might exist beyond, despite fearing how my soul will be judged. Only recently, have I begun to look forward to every new day. And do you wish to know why?” The hint of a smile quirked up the corner of his mouth when I dipped my chin in a nod. “You, Maria, are where I have found a semblance of redemption—after searching for a century and then some.
“You might believe that I have rescued you from peril, but it wasyouwho spared me from a miserable end. Because if my continued existence could produce one good act before I am gone, then I am glad that it was done for you.” A humorless chuckle passed his lips, and I remembered to breathe while trying to wrap my head around what he’d admitted. “Even if Ihave doomed you in the process, I promise to protect you from here on with all that I am.”
“So will I.” My voice came out squeaky, my heart beating so fast it could’ve burst. “Whatever happens after this—I’m not going down without a fight. And Iwillfight for you.” The confession sounded so superficial compared to how he’d phrased everything, but my jaw was set, silently daring him to try and convince me not to. Except, he only smiled, the beauty of it strengthened by the dim light of the fire while shadows danced across his features.
“You ask me why I have done what I have for you, and yet you do not see yourself in this at all, do you?” His question caught me off guard, but he didn’t give me a chance to answer. “You are a light in my abyss, guiding me toward hope that my legacy can leave behind more than bloodshed. In all my time, I have never been capable of carrying the weight that you do. Your understanding of right and wrong, led by a steadfast moral compass. Your strength enlightens, inspires, and it is because of this—despite my better judgment, knowing that I should not want you—that I have inadvertently made you sacrifice all thatyouhold dear.
“The truth, love…” he whispered, his palm caressing my jaw as I leaned in closer to hear. “The truth is that I fell in love with you long before I remembered what it had felt like to do so.”
Time must have stopped, because for one endless moment, all I felt was peace. Then it shattered, replaced by my overflowing heart and every thought in my head urging me closer to the man that had becomemysalvation. I leaned in, and grinned like an idiot, even when I caught myself on the hem of my sweatshirt.
