Page 59 of In the Nick of Time
“Any time you want to worship me is fine, baby.”
“Oh my god,” said Tim. “My ears were not made for this. Why me?”
One twenty-ounce iced quad-shot with two pumps of chocolate later, they were back on the highway. Nick took a long draw of the magical drink.
“I think I’m seeing God,” he muttered as the caffeine and sugar hit his system.
“Something anyway, with all that caffeine.”
“Where are we going?”
“First the hotel and then The Ace of Clubs.”
“No! Not there again! Why?” Nick whined.
“Because, grasshopper, even though The Undertaker is out of commission, the club is the center of things. The club is wherethe other agents went missing from, and we don’t know that he took all of them, hence and therefore.”
“What? Hence and therefore, what?”
“Hence, we go back to The Ace of Clubs. And therefore, we will find out where our agents are.”
“That seems like a statement and not a plan,” Nick pointed out.
“Agreed,” said Tim. “I think I’ll keep a watch on the hotel room.”
“Nice work back there, by the way,” Nick said, “letting the air out of the tires.”
The henchmen had been apprehended a few miles away and were now in SPAM custody along with The Undertaker.
“A tortoise uses the skills he has.”
“I mean, yes? Why wouldn’t you? That makes no sense.”
Tim lapsed into what Nick thought was a sulk. The rest of the drive back to the hotel was quiet.
“Please? Just a short nap?”Nick wasn’t above begging. And by nap he meant something that wasn’t sleeping.
Doug pointedly glanced down at Tim.
“We can stick Tim in the bathtub and shut the door,” he whispered in Doug’s ear.
“I heard that!”
“It’s that or outside,” said Doug.
“Fine. The bathtub it is.” Tim huffed. “I’ll humGod Save the Queen. I don’t know why you two are suddenly shy. It’s not as if I didn’t hear anything before.”
“WhyGod Save the Queen? Never mind, I don’t want to know.” Lifting Tim up again, Nick stepped into the bathroom and gently set him in the tub. “You’ll be fine.”
“If only I could cover my ears.”
“We’ll be quiet.”
Nick turned to leave and as he was pulling the door shut, Tim said, “I’ve heard that before too.”
When Nick shut the door, Doug was still standing in the same spot, a bemused expression on his face.
“What?” Nick asked.
