Page 71 of Far From Sherwood Forest
Am I that obvious?
Not sure what else I can say, I give him a nod and open the door to my truck. When I start the engine, the three strangers to this world all jump at the roar that follows.
As I drive away from the ranch, I’ve never hated leaving Robin as much as I do right now.
My heart fucking aches.
How could Will do that? My own goddamn cousin.
Sitting on the edge of my bed with my face in my hands, tears slip through my fingers, and I can feel each heavy drop fall into my lap even through my thick jeans. With each one, my heart cracks open even more, the shockwaves sending sobs up my throat.
I want Henry.
I just found out my own cousin got Marian killed, and here I am thinking aboutHenry.
Part of me wishes I hadn’t sent him away, but he’s been breaking my fucking heart too. He fucked me and took care of me afterward, but then he pulled away like he always does. He actually seemed concerned about me when I was sick but then completely ended things between us before I even knew what the hell those things were.
The healthiest thing for me to do would be to let him go, but that’s really fucking hard.
By the time my tears finally start to slow, I’ve completely exhausted myself. My body is weak and heavy. My mind is hazy.
I lie down and roll over onto my side facing the wall. I don’t bother undressing or getting under the covers or even taking off my boots. I don’t have the strength for any of that. The room feels as though it’s closing in on itself even with my eyes closed.
I don’t try to fight the darkness when it comes. I let it pull me under into sleep.
When I wake, it’s nearly dark inside the bunkhouse, the daylight that had been pouring in through the windows earlier now fading fast. I didn’t mean to sleep so long, and I feel absolutely no better for it.
As I sit up, my head throbs. I realize there’s a blanket over me, and my boots are off and on the floor at the foot of the bed. I don’t remember waking up and doing any of that, so John must have come in at some point.
A wave of sadness threatens to crash over me all over again.
John is leaving.
Henry doesn’t want me.
My own cousin betrayed me.
Maybe my return to Sherwood Forest would be the best thing for everyone.
I haven’t felt this much unhappiness in a long time, and all I want to do is cut it out of me.
It seems as though the ache in my chest has spread to the rest of my body. When I sit up further and move to the edge of the bed, my limbs protest, like every inch of me is weighed down along with my heart.
Reaching for my boots, I slip them on and stand. I walk over to the door and take a deep breath before opening it. It’s time to face the truth.
As I head down the steps of the porch, I see the orange glow of a fire coming from around the side of the building andhear the quiet murmur of voices. The sun has sunk low past the horizon, leaving a faint, light blue glow behind the mountains to the west. The rest of the sky is dark, but it’s still warm out. Winter is finally over.
I round the corner of the building and see flames flickering and dancing in the small firepit. John, Alan, and Tuck are all sitting in camping chairs around the fire, and I spot Will in the distance on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest as he stares out at the silhouette of the mountains lined in baby blue.
John peers over his shoulder at the sound of my footsteps and stands as I approach. We come to a stop in front of each other, and he simply stares at me as the seconds tick by and the fire crackles. Whatever it is that he sees on my face has him scooping me up in his arms and crushing me against his chest. Surprisingly, it relieves some of the pressure that had been building up inside me, and I find myself relaxing in his bear hold.
Even after I kept things from him, John couldn’t stay mad at me. He’s never been able to. After the others showed up, I told them all what little I knew about the Spirit—the bear attack and that apparently she had been masquerading as Henry’s friend. John was a little irritated that I hadn’t told him any of that, but I think he understands that I didn’t want to bring any of that down on him. He’s happy here. He’s made himself a good life and found himself a good woman.
If I don’t really have an interest in returning to Sherwood Forest, Iknowhe doesn’t.
John releases me but continues holding onto my arms as though he knows I need the help to remain steady.
“Thanks,” I mutter with a small smile that doesn’t feel real, then peer over at Will who hasn’t budged an inch. “Has he said anything?”
