Page 93 of Secrets That Bind Us
“My children deserve to know their grandfather. But you and I”-I gesture between us– “have so many reparations to do. Fortunately for you, children are easily adaptable, unfortunately for you, I am not.” I lick my lips before shifting my gaze again. “I need to know right now– are there any more secrets my mother has kept hidden so I’m no longer blindsided?”
He stares at me, amber eyes blinking. “Would you like to have coffee with me?”
“When?” I ask harshly.
“Next week?”
“That’sfine.” I snap like a petulant child, then walk away, not taking a breath until the door slams behind me, and I’m outside in the freezing late October rain, letting it cool me down. I take a few calming breaths, although I feel myself trembling from my fury.
Everyone in the SUV is silent when I climb in and slam the door shut. Dean doesn’t say a word. Just starts backing up and driving us home.
It’s only when we’re halfway to the front porch, I realize Reverend Bishop never answered my question.
Running my fingers through my hair, I huff out a large breath, still feeling the aftereffects, that tension in my body like bees vibrating inside of me. Rolling my head and tipping it back, grabbing the base of my skull, I look up at the ceiling. Blinking when I see a smidge of black. That… shouldn't be there. Is it mold? It can't be. This entire place was gutted. But it has been raining a lot. Too much. Fuck, I'll have to get Will back out here to check for a leak.
“You okay?” Dean asks when he enters the kitchen, and the kids are putting their things up in their rooms.
I shake my head, bringing my gaze back down to meet his. “No, actually. I'm not.” I snap, scratching at my forehead. “God, I hate this fucking town. It's like… I came back for you. I came back to flip this house, to get rid of it. But I came back for you. For Savvy to know her dad. And Noah. And it's like, I both traveled back in time and I'm caught in the messiest fucking loops, trying to claw my way out. And the truth is, half of this shit isn't evenmyshit to deal with! It's my mom's! It’s my grandma's! It's Zoey's! Every fucking day it's just a shit twister, and I'm the fucking cow getting sucked in and thrown around!”
I take in a deep breath, my stomach boiling. The buzzing inside me continues, burrowing now like insects under my skin. I go to the sink and grab a tumbler so I can fill it with water. Hands shaking, I set it on the counter and turn to look at Dean. “Do you know how fucking embarrassing it was hearing the rumors when I was kid, leave this hellhole, just to come back and find out it was all true?!” The lights flicker above us. “All of it? And he has the fucking audacity to tell me he wishedIcame tohimat fucking fifteen-years-old to confront him?! I was akid!He was a grown man of God! And now there’s fucking mold on the goddamn ceiling!” I growl, pointing at the ceiling, only to see the fucking smudge has moved above my head.
“Verity-“
“WHAT?!” My rage is an ocean crashing ashore, and the glass tumbler on the counter flies off and crashes to the floor.
Dean and I stare at it with wide eyes, stepping away from the shards of glass, while I pant.
“Mommy?”
I look up to see Savannah and Noah standing by the table, Savannah with her hands on his shoulders. I blink rapidly at my son, who has tears in his eyes.
“Baby?”
I blink again. “D… did I do that?”
They all shake their heads solemnly in disbelief.
I kneel quickly and start cleaning it up, blinking back tears. “Nobody move! I have to– I have to… Ah!FUCK!”I scream, when a large shard goes straight into my thumb. I pull my hand back, watching the blood dripping seep into the floorboards, disappearing before my very eyes.I stare at it wildly.
I’m going out of my fucking mind. Bonkers. I’m losing it. I need to get out of here. I need to run. I can’t run. I have kids. What the fuck. My lungs feel as though they’re collapsing. I feel Dean at my back before I hear him, anchoring me back to my sanity, taking every tremble of mine for himself.
“Baby,” He crowds me, cupping my elbows to help me up. “Why don't I get this? Savvy, Sunshine, grab the first aid kit. Go on, baby, wash your hand– let me just clear the glass and I’ll wrap it when I’m done.” Savannah comes back quickly with the first aid kit. “Noah, hand me the paper towels then get ready so we can go out and find Savvy’s camera before the sun goes down. C’mon. We all got a job.”
I run my hands under the warm water, grimacing at the blood going down the drain. “Dean,” I whisper, “I don't know what happened.”
He shakes his head at me as he kneels. “I don’t know either.” He repeats. “We'll talk about this later.”
I nod. “Yeah… okay. I'm sorry.” Not even talking about the goddamn glass anymore. I feel like I'm apologizing for everything. This house is turning me into something else. Someoneelse. I look up to see that smidge of mold is fucking gone. I let out a soft sob. “I don’t know what came over me. It’s so much. And the glass. I didn’t mean to yell. Oh God, am I going fucking crazy? That smudge is gone. I swear to God it was there, Dean. I swear.” I sob. “I’m going fucking crazy, aren’t I? I’m fucking losing it.”
He shakes his head softly. “The glass wasn't you, baby, okay? You had a long day. Tiffany. Reverend Bishop…” he sighs. “That’s a lot to handle in the span of a few hours. For now, let’s focus on the good things. You’re fine. The kids are fine.”
And that's the scary part.
I feel like itwasme.
And I’m definitely notfine.
We find Savannah’s camera in a snake pit like it was delicately placed inside- none of us willing to put our hands inside to grab it. Dean runs inside, andcomes back out with a wire hanger, dipping it in until he’s able to hook it to the strap and pull it out.
